Friday, December 9, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Way cool deal..
If you are in the Tulsa area, you should check this out! My kids and I had a blast doing it!
http://www.cubedproject.com/1000/0175/
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
Ever feel forgotten?
Not sure, but I believe that everyone has felt as though they were forgotten at one point or another. I know I have. I have kind of this weird dynamic going on in my head.. On the one hand I know I am absolutely BLESSED beyond measure, but then on the other I feel that there is so much more for me out there. One of my family's favorite movies is "Our Family Wedding". Yeah even Tony sings "...I'll cook your dinner babe.. soon as I get home from work.." We have a few faves of course, but this is definitely on the top 5 list. What is crazy is that even though my situation is definitely different, I can relate to the Mom in the movie. She talks about being labeled as "just the mom" and I so get that. Even though I don't consider myself "just a mom" sometimes there is an overwhelming feeling that "mom" is the only thing that other people see me as. Hands down there is absolutely no doubt about where my priorities lie.. my kids are #1! I believe that God blessed me with the gift of being their mom.. and when God blesses you with a gift, I believe you need to do the very best you can with it! I wear my mom badge with tons of pride!
What gets a little frustrating is the fact that people can't seem to see me past being a mother to 3 kids. All that "me time" that Dr. Phil and Oprah talk about means nothing if no one wants to share it with you.. OK I get that that seems like an oxymoron, but what I mean is I can read a magazine, do my nails, take a bath, all of those things by my self, but I don't get much "grown up time" because people around me are so focused on me being a mom. Hard to explain, but I know exactly what I mean! ;op
ANYWAY, moving on.. I am on day 20 of the Advocare 24 day challenge and I am down 8 lbs. (More like 10 lbs, but I don't count them unless I have kept them off for a couple of days.) I feel better and I believe I look better! I met my first goal already: 1) I want my clothes to fit better! If you would like to see what I am talking about and maybe try some of the products for yourself here is my web page www.advocare.com/11112702 . I am more than happy to answer any questions you have! It's the best "me" decision I have made in a very long time!
Be blessed today, 12/17/2011, it's the only one you will ever get!
~~Wish me Love!~~
What gets a little frustrating is the fact that people can't seem to see me past being a mother to 3 kids. All that "me time" that Dr. Phil and Oprah talk about means nothing if no one wants to share it with you.. OK I get that that seems like an oxymoron, but what I mean is I can read a magazine, do my nails, take a bath, all of those things by my self, but I don't get much "grown up time" because people around me are so focused on me being a mom. Hard to explain, but I know exactly what I mean! ;op
ANYWAY, moving on.. I am on day 20 of the Advocare 24 day challenge and I am down 8 lbs. (More like 10 lbs, but I don't count them unless I have kept them off for a couple of days.) I feel better and I believe I look better! I met my first goal already: 1) I want my clothes to fit better!
Be blessed today, 12/17/2011, it's the only one you will ever get!
~~Wish me Love!~~
Monday, November 28, 2011
Momentum Swings...
I have been on the Advocare 24 Day Challenge for 13 days now... so far even with the bumps it has been GREAT! I had Thanksgiving and a cold right in the middle of the challenge and have still managed to lose 7 lbs!! Not too shabby if I do say so myself!
Sunday, November 13, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Cherish- That is an amazing word!
cher·ish
[cher-ish]verb (used with object)
1.
to hold or treat as dear.
2.
to care for tenderly; nurture: to cherish a child.
Wow, "to hold or treat as dear"! Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone had the chance to feel "cherished"?
Monday, September 12, 2011
I'm Back...
It's been a while since I have written. Life has a way of keeping me running around in circles! I don't think I could deal with boring.
What's been going on in the past few months? Well, quite honestly a ton! Of course every minute of my life is a minute to learn something new. AND I have definitely learned some big lessons.
What lessons? I am so glad you asked.
I learned that snakes can get into just about any place- even your bath tub! AND no matter how small they are, they are scary!
I learned that the $1 goop that kids get at the dollar store will end up costing you $10 in cleaning supplies to get it off of your sofa.
I learned that a dog can chew through a computer cord in mere seconds with 3 kids in the same room.
I learned that when your 16 year old starts driving is is nice to having someone to run errands for you, but be sleep becomes a lot harder to come by because waiting for them to get home is torture!
I learned that no matter how strong their mom is, little boys need strong male role models in their lives.
I learned that the more you love some one the more it hurts when they let you down.
I learned that there are some really weird people in this world and not all of them were raised like my family to have manners and understand boundaries.
I have also learned that I am actually a pretty great person just the way I am, and the people that matter accept me flaws and all!
Enjoy today September 12, 2011; it's the only one you will ever get!
~~**Wish me LOVE**~~
What's been going on in the past few months? Well, quite honestly a ton! Of course every minute of my life is a minute to learn something new. AND I have definitely learned some big lessons.
What lessons? I am so glad you asked.
I learned that snakes can get into just about any place- even your bath tub! AND no matter how small they are, they are scary!
I learned that the $1 goop that kids get at the dollar store will end up costing you $10 in cleaning supplies to get it off of your sofa.
I learned that a dog can chew through a computer cord in mere seconds with 3 kids in the same room.
I learned that when your 16 year old starts driving is is nice to having someone to run errands for you, but be sleep becomes a lot harder to come by because waiting for them to get home is torture!
I learned that no matter how strong their mom is, little boys need strong male role models in their lives.
I learned that the more you love some one the more it hurts when they let you down.
I learned that there are some really weird people in this world and not all of them were raised like my family to have manners and understand boundaries.
I have also learned that I am actually a pretty great person just the way I am, and the people that matter accept me flaws and all!
Enjoy today September 12, 2011; it's the only one you will ever get!
~~**Wish me LOVE**~~
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I woke up this morning with a new understanding about some things.
First things first- no longer will I allow myself to make someone a priority who doesn't do the same for me! I know this one seems obvious, but it's harder that you think. You can't make people change! Only they can initiate change. I am very guilty of hanging on to something based off of what could be in the future while sitting in a bad situation in the present. I get involved with someone (it doesn't have to be a boyfriend type relationship) and things are rocky from the start, but I listen to promises of love and understanding with absolutely no sign of those things right now and try to hang on until things get better. Of course a year and a half later I end up sitting in a worse situation than I started with.
I was told not long ago that I choose those types of bad relationships to protect myself because I already know that they are going to end. I struggled with that for a while, but I believe now that that may very well be true. It's kind of a defense mechanism for me. It's not going to last anyway, so why bother getting too upset about it? The worst thing about that is that you end up settling for less than what you are worth. You put up with things you know you don't deserve and in the end you have nothing to show for your pain.
My friend told me that I should visualize myself meeting genuine people and finding genuine relationships. So I'm trying it! AND I have to admit, I like it!
What I want- Someone who cares about me as much as I care about them, and shows it! Someone who respects me and is there when I need them! Someone who makes me a priority in their life and doesn't make a habit if breaking promises. Someone who refuses to talk down to me like I lack intelligence. Someone who makes an effort to see me as much as possible. Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in a room full of people! Someone who laughs with me, hurts when I am hurt, loves me with all of their heart! .
Ok- there you have it... That's what I want! That what I'm visualizing! That's what's x-ing people off of my list! I see myself successful!
How do you know if someone genuinely loves you? Know what you want in a relationship. Set up the parameters and make clear what you like and what you don't like. If that person does something that you don't like tell them. If they continue to hurt you- let them go. If the love was genuine, they will initiate their own change because they never want to see you hurt again!
That's all I have for now! I am going to work out and help me feel good about me.
Don't settle today 6/28/2011 or any other day!
*Wish me Love!*
I was told not long ago that I choose those types of bad relationships to protect myself because I already know that they are going to end. I struggled with that for a while, but I believe now that that may very well be true. It's kind of a defense mechanism for me. It's not going to last anyway, so why bother getting too upset about it? The worst thing about that is that you end up settling for less than what you are worth. You put up with things you know you don't deserve and in the end you have nothing to show for your pain.
My friend told me that I should visualize myself meeting genuine people and finding genuine relationships. So I'm trying it! AND I have to admit, I like it!
What I want- Someone who cares about me as much as I care about them, and shows it! Someone who respects me and is there when I need them! Someone who makes me a priority in their life and doesn't make a habit if breaking promises. Someone who refuses to talk down to me like I lack intelligence. Someone who makes an effort to see me as much as possible. Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in a room full of people! Someone who laughs with me, hurts when I am hurt, loves me with all of their heart! .
Ok- there you have it... That's what I want! That what I'm visualizing! That's what's x-ing people off of my list! I see myself successful!
How do you know if someone genuinely loves you? Know what you want in a relationship. Set up the parameters and make clear what you like and what you don't like. If that person does something that you don't like tell them. If they continue to hurt you- let them go. If the love was genuine, they will initiate their own change because they never want to see you hurt again!
That's all I have for now! I am going to work out and help me feel good about me.
Don't settle today 6/28/2011 or any other day!
*Wish me Love!*
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Searching for answers....
Funny thing is my preacher talked about deleting people out of your phone just this morning. My friend Shellee told me not long ago that "he may not mean you any harm, but he doesn't mean you any good either." That's what my preacher was referring to this morning. He said that there are people in your life that don't need to be there. They may not be purposely trying to harm you, but their mess carries over into your life and does you no good. I don't like to completely x people off. I don't believe in it. I believe in showing kindness no matter what. I know who means me no good, but am I supposed to completely x them off?
Right now I am searching.. I guess honestly I am always searching for answers. I know what my gift is in life... I am a teacher. BUT what I want be to know now is where do I go with it? I love my life!! I am blessed in so many ways.. but what's next? I know this is not my highest level! I was born to go higher! I am ready for a man that treats me like his queen and allows me to treat him like my king! Can I get that please?
OK OK OK I get it, this is a crazy post! I understand! BUT I must say, I enjoy being able to write what is in my head! What's funny is that after I put it all in writing, I usually answer my own questions EXCEPT for one. To tell you the truth, I don't know that I will ever be able to answer that one.
A few things I am certain of.. 1) God loves me! NO matter what I am blessed by Him daily! 2) I have the most amazing kids on the planet! They make my world go around. 3) I don't have all the answers and sometimes I feel like a broken record asking the same questions. 4) I am worth the work it takes to find the right answers!
June 26, 2011 is a Blessing! Enjoy it; it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me Love*
Right now I am searching.. I guess honestly I am always searching for answers. I know what my gift is in life... I am a teacher. BUT what I want be to know now is where do I go with it? I love my life!! I am blessed in so many ways.. but what's next? I know this is not my highest level! I was born to go higher! I am ready for a man that treats me like his queen and allows me to treat him like my king! Can I get that please?
OK OK OK I get it, this is a crazy post! I understand! BUT I must say, I enjoy being able to write what is in my head! What's funny is that after I put it all in writing, I usually answer my own questions EXCEPT for one. To tell you the truth, I don't know that I will ever be able to answer that one.
A few things I am certain of.. 1) God loves me! NO matter what I am blessed by Him daily! 2) I have the most amazing kids on the planet! They make my world go around. 3) I don't have all the answers and sometimes I feel like a broken record asking the same questions. 4) I am worth the work it takes to find the right answers!
June 26, 2011 is a Blessing! Enjoy it; it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me Love*
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Advice..
What my Dad has taught me (some of which to my downfall I have chosen not to pay enough attention to.)
Love is more powerful and more important than anything! The words I LOVE YOU are not something you take lightly. Use them carefully and when you do chose to use them, mean them with your whole being. Let every action toward that person prove that love over and over again!
Kindness may be mistaken for weakness, but just because there are foolish people out there who will take advantage of you, never stop being kind! Eventually someone genuine will come along who appreciates and loves your kind heart and would die trying to defend it! AND absolutely never dream of breaking it.
No one is perfect- we all make mistakes! Admit your mistakes, apologize, and work to make it right.. It's the work to make it right part that is most important on this one!
Actions speak volumes! For some people words are just that, words. But for "real" people a man is only as good as his word. If you say you are going to do something, do it! It's as simple as that! And if life gets in the way and plans fall through, apologize and work to make things right!
Put your Family first! Yeah they may get on your nerves at times, but never let them think you wouldn't be there if they needed you!
Time is a valuable gift! When you give yours to someone else, you show them that they are valuable to you! When others give their time to you, appreciate the value in their gift!
Everyday is not going to be a good day. So cherish every moment of happiness but appreciate the trials.. They serve a great purpose too. They remind you how amazing the good days are!
I am beautiful- how do I know? Because my dad never hesitated to tell me! I am strong- yes he reminded me of that too! I am worth someone's time and effort- more wise words from dad! AND last but not least... Someone is proud of me!! Yes he told me that just last week!
I want to be a parent to my kids like my dad was to me! And one day I hope to share my life with someone that shares those values too!
Enjoy today June 21, 2011! I know I am! :)
*Wish me Love*
Love is more powerful and more important than anything! The words I LOVE YOU are not something you take lightly. Use them carefully and when you do chose to use them, mean them with your whole being. Let every action toward that person prove that love over and over again!
Kindness may be mistaken for weakness, but just because there are foolish people out there who will take advantage of you, never stop being kind! Eventually someone genuine will come along who appreciates and loves your kind heart and would die trying to defend it! AND absolutely never dream of breaking it.
No one is perfect- we all make mistakes! Admit your mistakes, apologize, and work to make it right.. It's the work to make it right part that is most important on this one!
Actions speak volumes! For some people words are just that, words. But for "real" people a man is only as good as his word. If you say you are going to do something, do it! It's as simple as that! And if life gets in the way and plans fall through, apologize and work to make things right!
Put your Family first! Yeah they may get on your nerves at times, but never let them think you wouldn't be there if they needed you!
Time is a valuable gift! When you give yours to someone else, you show them that they are valuable to you! When others give their time to you, appreciate the value in their gift!
Everyday is not going to be a good day. So cherish every moment of happiness but appreciate the trials.. They serve a great purpose too. They remind you how amazing the good days are!
I am beautiful- how do I know? Because my dad never hesitated to tell me! I am strong- yes he reminded me of that too! I am worth someone's time and effort- more wise words from dad! AND last but not least... Someone is proud of me!! Yes he told me that just last week!
I want to be a parent to my kids like my dad was to me! And one day I hope to share my life with someone that shares those values too!
Enjoy today June 21, 2011! I know I am! :)
*Wish me Love*
Monday, June 13, 2011
Waited a long time for this...
I am just going to go ahead and come out with this.... I AM GOING TO CHICAGO TO WATCH A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY!!! Whew- I have waited a long time to be able to say that! I am taking one of the 3 people who make my world turn- My beautiful 16 year old daughter Cydney Lynn! I have never been so excited! It's amazing what happens in your life if you just take a deep breath and jump sometimes!
I have spent many years worrying about other people- wishing that people would keep their promises to me and do the things that they say they will do, but I am finding out that it just doesn't work that way. People say what they think you want to hear and then worry about their own agendas. I have loved the Cubs since I was a little kid. Someone made a promise to take me to a game years ago, but life (his life) got in the way and I never got to go. So I am changing up how I do things... if there is something I want to do, I am going to do it! My son and I are already making plans to go to the Super Bowl for his 16th birthday! I have a few years to save up ;) AND my baby girl... she'll get to pick where she wants to go too!
I have always wanted to see a boardwalk-- I am taking a trip South to see one this summer! NO more waiting on things just to find out that most people don't keep their word.. if I want it, I am going to find a way to make it happen!
If you are in Chicago this week.. just look for me all decked out in my Cubs gear walking right beside one of the most beautiful girls in the world wearing her Yankees gear (booo)! Tired of waiting for Superman!! Why should I? Especially when I feel like SUPERWOMAN! Determined to make my dreams come true!
Enjoy today June 13, 2011- it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me love!*
Sunday, June 12, 2011
6/11/11 Kind of Sucked! LOL
Let me just go ahead and apologize for the title.. I couldn't think of a better word.
Let me explain. I have been having dreams about 6/11/11 for months. My dream is the same and something really amazing happens to me.. but just the normal amazing things happened to me on 6/11/11. I woke up! Enjoyed my beautiful children! Ate, danced, hugged, you know all of the normal stuff happened, but not that unusually amazing thing that I was looking for.
Am I disappointed? Yeah I can't lie. I think every girl dreams of a fairy tale, but will I survive? Of course, I always have.
As far as "D" (decision) Day.. I made up my mind. First of all, I won Ms. Charlotte's challenge! I am not too sure that I gained a new habit or broke an old one, but I said my "mantra" everyday for 21 days! Boo Yaaa! I told you I would do it!
Shelle's challenge though.. um no comment. I Just have what I want in my head, and I don't know what it will take to get it out of there. I act with my heart. AND for some strange reason my heart is leading me one way that seems to cause me a ton of pain, but I am just not ready to give up yet. I know I am crazy. AND I may very well be wrong, but I want to see for myself.
My dad came to pick up my kids today and he was talking to me about a friend of mine. He made the comment that my friend was a good person and that it was good to be driven, but that sometimes we get so focused on being driven that we forget why we are driving in the first place. What happens when you get to your destination but forget why you went? You tend to leave folks behind. I guess I feel like I am being left behind.
Some dreams do come true... this one however didn't. Yeah it does suck because it was a really great dream! Maybe my trip to the Boardwalk will never happen.. maybe the lights will never be so bright at night.. and maybe my life will not change because of a short conversation, BUT I am going to continue to dream! I continue to be more blessed than I could have ever asked! I am still happy and loved! AND I am still thankful for all that God has done for me!
Enjoy today 6/12/11 (the day after) it's the only one you will ever get! *Wish me LOVE! because I certainly wish it for you!*
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Uh oh..
Decision day is next weekend... AND I don't know what to do. :( I can't stand not having all of the answers. Crazy when your head and your heart are in conflict! I need some major help on this one. I have been praying and praying and searching for answers, and even though I feel like I know what to do in my head, I can't seem to get my heart to agree.
Bout to give up and just let things land where ever they fall. Sometimes even Super Woman needs a break! Thinking I'm gonna take a break before I break. Yeah I know this post is out there and you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but I just needed to write. Why do somethings come so easy, but other things have to be so dang hard!
"Unsettled" that's how I feel right now and I have to say, I don't like it one bit! :(
I am still very much appreciating the day June (now 5th because I can't sleep) 2011, because I know it's the only one I will ever get!
Good night ya'll! Wish me love! <3
Bout to give up and just let things land where ever they fall. Sometimes even Super Woman needs a break! Thinking I'm gonna take a break before I break. Yeah I know this post is out there and you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but I just needed to write. Why do somethings come so easy, but other things have to be so dang hard!
"Unsettled" that's how I feel right now and I have to say, I don't like it one bit! :(
I am still very much appreciating the day June (now 5th because I can't sleep) 2011, because I know it's the only one I will ever get!
Good night ya'll! Wish me love! <3
Friday, May 20, 2011
6/11/11 is “D” Day
It takes 21 days to make a habit and 21 days to break a habit! That’s what my friend Charlotte says and I believe her.
OK, let me start from the beginning….
For a little over a year my life has been a roller-coaster ride in the area of relationships. One minute I feel loved and understood the next I feel lost and alone. It’s a hard situation to be in. On one hand you have all of these blessing in your life and in all sincerity you are truly thankful, but on the other hand you find yourself feeling like something is wrong with you that there is no one out there who feels you are worthy enough of their time. When one area of your life starts to bring you down, you start to doubt yourself in others. So for the past few months I have been doing a lot of “soul searching”. AND I have to say it hasn’t been in vain. I have learned a lot about myself.
The significance of 6/11/11….
I have a reoccurring dream that shows something amazing happening to me at night, but under bright lights. The dream always makes me feel a sense of serenity and in my dream the date is always 6/11/11. The cynical side of me told myself that it meant nothing, but there was always that little bit of hope that kind of wished it did mean something.
When Ms. Charlotte said what she did about habits, she was referring to the fact that we as women need to evaluate ourselves to become the people that use our strengths toward God’s benefit. I responded to her by saying that when I evaluate myself it is very critical and harsh. She told me that I should not be so negative toward myself and I told her that some habits are hard to break… now you know the rest of that story. Charlotte challenged me to say out loud everyday for 21 days positive things describing who I really am. So of course I accepted the challenge.
My Mantra….
It wasn’t easy, but after much thought I came up with the following:
I am smart. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy of being loved and respected. And I am worthy of someone’s time.
I have it memorized now- it’s day 3 and I am going to win this challenge!
Shellee’s call….
Yesterday was a little rough for me. Don’t really care to discuss why, but it did have its bright spots. My friend Shellee called me! I love Shellee, we have been friends for years and I have always considered her my “voice of reason”. She knows just how to talk to me with out making me feel silly or stupid. We talked for a while and the conversation led to my challenge from Ms. Charlotte. Seeing a need for change in my life (and knowing how hard it was for me to turn down a challenge) she gave me another one. Now as hard as Ms. Charlotte’s challenge was, Shellee’s is 100 times harder, but of course I accepted it! The 21 days for Shellee’s challenge ends on you guessed it, 6/11/11!
I knew that God had some positive changes planned for me, but I wasn’t aware of what they were. Now I have a better idea. Once my challenges are up and my habits have been changed (hopefully) I will have a huge decision to make. Maybe I will know what I am going to do before 6/11/11, who knows. What ever the case, I know that it is God working on me!
I can’t lie. I am still very sad. Sometimes life does not seem fair. One very hard lesson I have learned already is that you can only truly trust someone when you are sure of their love for you. It’s human nature. If they don’t show you consistent love, real trust will never develop. I am not saying that people don’t make mistakes nor am I saying that one mistake makes you untrustworthy. What I am saying is love has to be consistent and obvious. When it’s not doubt grows.
In the end…
I am not sure how things will turn out, and that’s ok. I have figured out what 3 things are most important to me from others, love, respect, and time. I have also figured out what things are important to me as far as how I want to view myself. I am smart (I am not as naive as some people think.) I am beautiful- on the outside.. ok I will go with that, but on the inside is what I am most proud of. I am strong! God is on my side, so there is nothing on this Earth that can break me!
6/11/11 is Decision Day for me! One way or another a choice will be made and I am trusting God that it will be the right one according to his plan!
Live today 5/20/2011 it’s the only one you will ever get!
OK, let me start from the beginning….
For a little over a year my life has been a roller-coaster ride in the area of relationships. One minute I feel loved and understood the next I feel lost and alone. It’s a hard situation to be in. On one hand you have all of these blessing in your life and in all sincerity you are truly thankful, but on the other hand you find yourself feeling like something is wrong with you that there is no one out there who feels you are worthy enough of their time. When one area of your life starts to bring you down, you start to doubt yourself in others. So for the past few months I have been doing a lot of “soul searching”. AND I have to say it hasn’t been in vain. I have learned a lot about myself.
The significance of 6/11/11….
I have a reoccurring dream that shows something amazing happening to me at night, but under bright lights. The dream always makes me feel a sense of serenity and in my dream the date is always 6/11/11. The cynical side of me told myself that it meant nothing, but there was always that little bit of hope that kind of wished it did mean something.
When Ms. Charlotte said what she did about habits, she was referring to the fact that we as women need to evaluate ourselves to become the people that use our strengths toward God’s benefit. I responded to her by saying that when I evaluate myself it is very critical and harsh. She told me that I should not be so negative toward myself and I told her that some habits are hard to break… now you know the rest of that story. Charlotte challenged me to say out loud everyday for 21 days positive things describing who I really am. So of course I accepted the challenge.
My Mantra….
It wasn’t easy, but after much thought I came up with the following:
I am smart. I am beautiful. I am strong. I am worthy of being loved and respected. And I am worthy of someone’s time.
I have it memorized now- it’s day 3 and I am going to win this challenge!
Shellee’s call….
Yesterday was a little rough for me. Don’t really care to discuss why, but it did have its bright spots. My friend Shellee called me! I love Shellee, we have been friends for years and I have always considered her my “voice of reason”. She knows just how to talk to me with out making me feel silly or stupid. We talked for a while and the conversation led to my challenge from Ms. Charlotte. Seeing a need for change in my life (and knowing how hard it was for me to turn down a challenge) she gave me another one. Now as hard as Ms. Charlotte’s challenge was, Shellee’s is 100 times harder, but of course I accepted it! The 21 days for Shellee’s challenge ends on you guessed it, 6/11/11!
I knew that God had some positive changes planned for me, but I wasn’t aware of what they were. Now I have a better idea. Once my challenges are up and my habits have been changed (hopefully) I will have a huge decision to make. Maybe I will know what I am going to do before 6/11/11, who knows. What ever the case, I know that it is God working on me!
I can’t lie. I am still very sad. Sometimes life does not seem fair. One very hard lesson I have learned already is that you can only truly trust someone when you are sure of their love for you. It’s human nature. If they don’t show you consistent love, real trust will never develop. I am not saying that people don’t make mistakes nor am I saying that one mistake makes you untrustworthy. What I am saying is love has to be consistent and obvious. When it’s not doubt grows.
In the end…
I am not sure how things will turn out, and that’s ok. I have figured out what 3 things are most important to me from others, love, respect, and time. I have also figured out what things are important to me as far as how I want to view myself. I am smart (I am not as naive as some people think.) I am beautiful- on the outside.. ok I will go with that, but on the inside is what I am most proud of. I am strong! God is on my side, so there is nothing on this Earth that can break me!
6/11/11 is Decision Day for me! One way or another a choice will be made and I am trusting God that it will be the right one according to his plan!
Live today 5/20/2011 it’s the only one you will ever get!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Comfortable in my dysfunction….
Wow! Am I really? I read this today and I have to admit, it stuck in my head. I don’t want to be dysfunctional and I certainly don’t want to find comfort in it!
Let me make a few things clear.. My life is NOT bad! I have 3 amazing kids. We live in a nice house with a nice back yard and plenty of food in the pantry. We live just above pay check to pay check, but I have a good steady job and we make it alright.
Why then did this quote get to me? Not because of my outside world, but because of my inside world: the world that very few people have had the chance to enter into. My kids know I am crazy, but they love me anyway. They have to; I feed them, clothe them, and give them a house to live in. (I do believe they would love me even if I didn’t though- like I said they are pretty amazing kids!) Other than that, not too many people out there know the real me. Which brings me to why the quote got to me-> Does not letting people know really know me make me dysfunctional?
Hmmmmm? I have to tell you in my mixed up world not letting people get to know me makes me smart. It keeps me from getting hurt and it makes me not have to deal with drama. BUT the down side of it is it closes me off from people who may actually care about me.
Not too sure where this one is going so I am going to stop writing now. Crazy thing is it’s taken me 3 days to write this much. I am thinking that this must have some type of meaning to me or it wouldn’t be in my head so much. Maybe I will figure it out later- for now value today May 17, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get!
Let me make a few things clear.. My life is NOT bad! I have 3 amazing kids. We live in a nice house with a nice back yard and plenty of food in the pantry. We live just above pay check to pay check, but I have a good steady job and we make it alright.
Why then did this quote get to me? Not because of my outside world, but because of my inside world: the world that very few people have had the chance to enter into. My kids know I am crazy, but they love me anyway. They have to; I feed them, clothe them, and give them a house to live in. (I do believe they would love me even if I didn’t though- like I said they are pretty amazing kids!) Other than that, not too many people out there know the real me. Which brings me to why the quote got to me-> Does not letting people know really know me make me dysfunctional?
Hmmmmm? I have to tell you in my mixed up world not letting people get to know me makes me smart. It keeps me from getting hurt and it makes me not have to deal with drama. BUT the down side of it is it closes me off from people who may actually care about me.
Not too sure where this one is going so I am going to stop writing now. Crazy thing is it’s taken me 3 days to write this much. I am thinking that this must have some type of meaning to me or it wouldn’t be in my head so much. Maybe I will figure it out later- for now value today May 17, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get!
Monday, May 16, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
I met someone new today...
I met someone new today.
She is a sweet person who would do just about anything for anyone, but she's been lost for a while. Her heart's been hurting and she's been letting the world around her tell her who she has been and who she will be. She'd made a habit of apologizing for who she was and had blamed herself for every bad circumstance that had come her way. She had been bullied and beat down and made to think that she wasn't worthy of being treated like a Princess. She had spent years closing doors and shutting people out. Holding people at arms length not allowing them to know who she really is had become her shelter. She had made an art of finding ways to make sure a relationship ended right before she had the chance to know what real love is, because deep down she felt there was no such thing. Her guard was always up. Her walls had been meticulously built to ensure that there were windows only a select few could make it through. She always had a smile on her face, but her heart remained broken and fragile.
She didn't see that she did deserve to be treated like a Princess if for no other reason than that she was a child of The King! Her worth was more than all the gold in the world and she couldn't accept that. When love would come her way, she would run. When she would stumble, she never looked around for help because she always felt that she had to find her way back on her own. Even though God had always been there to protect her and love her, she never allowed herself to feel his loving arms around her. She continued to live every day feeling as if she had to pay for sins from long ago. She tried to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of the world, but she just never could reach that level.
One day- she sat alone, still and quiet, and allowed God to speak to her. He told her to stop beating herself up for her past mistakes and let it all go. He reminded her that there is a season for everything and now is the time to let go of her season of pain and sadness. That season has made her stronger, but now it was time to drop that weight so that she could welcome the new things He has waiting for her! He told her that she would still have bumps in the road, but assured her that she was strong enough because He would always be right there with her!
I have made my mistakes. I am not my mistakes. I am ready to let them go and move forward! I am just sad that hanging on to my past may have caused me to lose someone who belongs in my future.
"Take me to that place Lord., to that secret place where I can be with you and you can make me like you. Wrap me in your arms!"
Help me find where I belong....
I met someone new today... her name is Rebekah Lynn and she's ready to be done with her past and focus on her future!
Love today and have Faith that God will take care of your tomorrows--
She is a sweet person who would do just about anything for anyone, but she's been lost for a while. Her heart's been hurting and she's been letting the world around her tell her who she has been and who she will be. She'd made a habit of apologizing for who she was and had blamed herself for every bad circumstance that had come her way. She had been bullied and beat down and made to think that she wasn't worthy of being treated like a Princess. She had spent years closing doors and shutting people out. Holding people at arms length not allowing them to know who she really is had become her shelter. She had made an art of finding ways to make sure a relationship ended right before she had the chance to know what real love is, because deep down she felt there was no such thing. Her guard was always up. Her walls had been meticulously built to ensure that there were windows only a select few could make it through. She always had a smile on her face, but her heart remained broken and fragile.
She didn't see that she did deserve to be treated like a Princess if for no other reason than that she was a child of The King! Her worth was more than all the gold in the world and she couldn't accept that. When love would come her way, she would run. When she would stumble, she never looked around for help because she always felt that she had to find her way back on her own. Even though God had always been there to protect her and love her, she never allowed herself to feel his loving arms around her. She continued to live every day feeling as if she had to pay for sins from long ago. She tried to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of the world, but she just never could reach that level.
One day- she sat alone, still and quiet, and allowed God to speak to her. He told her to stop beating herself up for her past mistakes and let it all go. He reminded her that there is a season for everything and now is the time to let go of her season of pain and sadness. That season has made her stronger, but now it was time to drop that weight so that she could welcome the new things He has waiting for her! He told her that she would still have bumps in the road, but assured her that she was strong enough because He would always be right there with her!
I have made my mistakes. I am not my mistakes. I am ready to let them go and move forward! I am just sad that hanging on to my past may have caused me to lose someone who belongs in my future.
"Take me to that place Lord., to that secret place where I can be with you and you can make me like you. Wrap me in your arms!"
Help me find where I belong....
I met someone new today... her name is Rebekah Lynn and she's ready to be done with her past and focus on her future!
Love today and have Faith that God will take care of your tomorrows--
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
UPDATE:
Well, things could be better for sure. I have been working at it, but not seeing the success I would like to see. I am not going to give up.. just adapt. I’m working harder to reach my goal. I got this! BUT ummm.. if you wanna throw in a little prayer for me feel free! I am looking for change in so many ways- So ready to see some! Still thankful for my blessing! Still LOVE the LIFE GOD has BLESSED me with! Just working toward more!
LOVE THIS and thought that I would share!!!
“You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.” Psalm 18:35 (NIV, 1984)
Enjoy today May 4, 2011; it’s the only one you will ever get!
LOVE THIS and thought that I would share!!!
“You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.” Psalm 18:35 (NIV, 1984)
Enjoy today May 4, 2011; it’s the only one you will ever get!
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Deep breath, ok here I go!
I have been doing the P90x stuff. While I have not mastered it just yet, I can get through them. So I kind of have my work out plan going. I have spent the past week trying to limit the food I take in. Yeah we still had pizza night, but I only ate 1 piece. (THAT WAS HARD!) NO fried food! More veggies! Still get my fruit, YAY! AND Tons and Tons of water! Let's see where I can get in 4 weeks.
Oh yeah.. 2 more things I am going to do:
1) Facebook on the weekends only - so if I am not responding to you don't get offended. Shoot be old fashioned and text me or call me instead!
2) My phone is going in the living room to charge after 11:00PM. The main reason for this is that I have developed an unhealthy addiction to my phone. Always jumping up to get it when it goes off. Even if it goes off in the middle of the night. If it is in the other room, I know my lazy butt is not going to get up and go get it.
Now if later today I am feeling super brave I may post a "start" pic so that you can see if I am getting anywhere with this. Tips, ideas, suggestions, praise, or constructive criticism
Deep breath, ok here I go!
Friday, April 22, 2011
How do you know when it’s time to let go?
How do you know when it’s time to let go?
Just curious… I am a bit of a fighter by nature. Any one who knows my history knows that letting go is an obvious weakness of mine. I was raised never to give up on the people you love. What happens though when they give up on you? Hmmmm… food for thought. Advice? Words of wisdom?
Just what’s on my mind today, April 22, 2011
Just curious… I am a bit of a fighter by nature. Any one who knows my history knows that letting go is an obvious weakness of mine. I was raised never to give up on the people you love. What happens though when they give up on you? Hmmmm… food for thought. Advice? Words of wisdom?
Just what’s on my mind today, April 22, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
Today is a good day!
Hey- Hey! I am feeling really good today! Crazy how that works, huh? One day you feel like you don’t want to get out of bed and the next you are on top of the world. What made me feel so good today..? Well nothing out of the ordinary. I woke up after tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling fan most of the night. I got dressed and ready for work. Got my kids up and ready to go. Noticed that I didn’t finish the laundry and the kitchen cabinets could have been wiped off better.
I got to school just pretty much like normal and had to immediately deal with a run away and another potentially “bad” situation. More paper work, more parent / police contact; not really the makings of a good day.. unless I can just realize that that’s my life and even though on the outside looking in, my life doesn’t look fabulous to most, my life is pretty great to me! No I don’t have a significant other to wake up to everyday, but I don’t have a significant other to answer to every day either. AND I do have 3 amazing kiddos to wake up to! Some months we live pay check to pay check, but other months we have a little extra cash to play with. My life is not hard- sometimes it’s a little stressful, but absolutely nothing that outweighs my BLESSINGS!
Sure I want more- who doesn’t? God didn’t create us to sit on our tails and watch the world go by.. But I am also very content with all of the amazing things that God has BLESSED me with right now. One day I will have it all… Someone will see me for who I am and LOVE me just because I am me. Until then I am going to keep working toward my goals and loving the life that I live today April 15, 2011!
My son and I have been P90X-ing it lately! He’s a pretty real trainer! I think he’s got a future in it for sure! We will see where I end up at by summer.. I want to wear a swim suit! Maybe even dare I say it... a bikini! ;0p
I got to school just pretty much like normal and had to immediately deal with a run away and another potentially “bad” situation. More paper work, more parent / police contact; not really the makings of a good day.. unless I can just realize that that’s my life and even though on the outside looking in, my life doesn’t look fabulous to most, my life is pretty great to me! No I don’t have a significant other to wake up to everyday, but I don’t have a significant other to answer to every day either. AND I do have 3 amazing kiddos to wake up to! Some months we live pay check to pay check, but other months we have a little extra cash to play with. My life is not hard- sometimes it’s a little stressful, but absolutely nothing that outweighs my BLESSINGS!
Sure I want more- who doesn’t? God didn’t create us to sit on our tails and watch the world go by.. But I am also very content with all of the amazing things that God has BLESSED me with right now. One day I will have it all… Someone will see me for who I am and LOVE me just because I am me. Until then I am going to keep working toward my goals and loving the life that I live today April 15, 2011!
My son and I have been P90X-ing it lately! He’s a pretty real trainer! I think he’s got a future in it for sure! We will see where I end up at by summer.. I want to wear a swim suit! Maybe even dare I say it... a bikini! ;0p
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Guilt...
Why do we feel guilty? OK even better question... Why do we feel guilt about things that we have nothing to feel guilty about? I am all about taking ownership in things, but my problem is that I take ownership in everything. I allow myself to feel bad about coulda, woulda, shoulda, stuff. I will write more later.. just wanted to start this one so that I could come back to it.
That's what's on my mind today 4/5/11 (My Dad's Birthday!!!!)
That's what's on my mind today 4/5/11 (My Dad's Birthday!!!!)
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Denial
Denial - We all do it to some extent- Why? I would love to say that I never make excuses, but that would be a lie. I believe myself to be a fairly decent person. When I am wrong I admit it. If I hurt someone I apologize. BUT though I may not want to admit it, I have been in denial about things on more than one occasion.
My thought is that maybe we need denial in our to some extent. Maybe it allows us some degree of comfort. I don't know. I definitely don't like that thought, but I believe it's true. We need denial in order to deal with certain things until the day comes that we are ready to deal with the reality of what happened. It saves us from an overwhelming amount of pain.
Don't get me wrong, I believe whole-heartedly that God is there with me no matter what I go through. I believe that he will never allow me to go through something that I can't handle. I also believe that every time I have been hurt I go through a period of denial until I can get to a point of understanding. Most times I end up blaming myself... ANYWAY- Not sure where this one was going.. just felt like writing. Anyone else have any opinions on this?
I am going to finish off my day hanging out with my amazing kids!! Enjoy today March 27, 2011, it's the only one you will ever get! :)
My thought is that maybe we need denial in our to some extent. Maybe it allows us some degree of comfort. I don't know. I definitely don't like that thought, but I believe it's true. We need denial in order to deal with certain things until the day comes that we are ready to deal with the reality of what happened. It saves us from an overwhelming amount of pain.
Don't get me wrong, I believe whole-heartedly that God is there with me no matter what I go through. I believe that he will never allow me to go through something that I can't handle. I also believe that every time I have been hurt I go through a period of denial until I can get to a point of understanding. Most times I end up blaming myself... ANYWAY- Not sure where this one was going.. just felt like writing. Anyone else have any opinions on this?
I am going to finish off my day hanging out with my amazing kids!! Enjoy today March 27, 2011, it's the only one you will ever get! :)
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
WOW!
WOW! The past few weeks have been CraZy! People have come into my life, and they have gone out of my life. BUT the ones who truly love me are still hanging around. I moved into my new house… (I absolutely LOVE it by the way!) It’s funny how a change in environment can change your whole perception. My 7-year old has even been coming to me to brush her hair. Normally, I have to chase her around the house and hold her down. LOL It’s been a long sometimes hard road, but we have finally found our niche.
The kids are doing well in school and making friends. Tony’s doing well in Martial Arts and is about to earn his first belt ( I can’t remember what color.) Cydney is running track and has earned 6 medals in the past 2 meets. Shelby is playing softball. She should have a great year because she has a pretty awesome coach! ;)
No matter what has happened in my life the one thing I have never doubted was that God was with me all the way! He’s been there even during the times I haven’t; let that comment marinate for a minute.
“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”
Psalm 91:11 (NIV)
Enjoy today, March 22, 2011- I know I am! It’s the only one I will ever get!
The kids are doing well in school and making friends. Tony’s doing well in Martial Arts and is about to earn his first belt ( I can’t remember what color.) Cydney is running track and has earned 6 medals in the past 2 meets. Shelby is playing softball. She should have a great year because she has a pretty awesome coach! ;)
No matter what has happened in my life the one thing I have never doubted was that God was with me all the way! He’s been there even during the times I haven’t; let that comment marinate for a minute.
“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”
Psalm 91:11 (NIV)
Enjoy today, March 22, 2011- I know I am! It’s the only one I will ever get!
Thursday, March 3, 2011
(Jeremiah 29:13) What's that all about?
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)
When I read this in my Bible I had to sit back a minute and just meditate on it. I was very taken back by it. I guess because I have lived the better part of my life “searching” for something. I never knew what I was searching for; I just knew that something was missing. It wasn’t until recently that I figured out what the something was.. God!
Now I have always known God. AND I have always loved God. AND I have always tried to make choices that would be pleasing to God. BUT I wasn’t seeking Him with all of my heart. It may be easy for some people and that’s great, but for me it’s difficult at times.
Isn’t it kind of like this for everything though? I mean if something is important to you, you go after it, but you never fully reach your full potential unless you go after it with all of your heart.
I have a feeling I will be writing on this subject again.
On another note:
I had my students come up with quotes. They could be about anything they felt helped them describe a positive emotion. Here are a few of the quotes that they came up with. I don’t have who said them, because this wasn’t that kind of assignment and it’s not that kind of class. They were just told to look for quotes that reach out and grab them.
“Time heals what reason cannot”
“In the absence of love, there is nothing worth fighting for”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”
“The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference”
“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her”
“You call it madness, but I call it love”
Now the majority of my class is 15-16 year old girls. Which may seem obvious by their choice of quotes, but the guys put in on this too. What I find interesting was that they were all in agreement that when you are talking about love/emotions things seem super confusing. My favorite comment was.. “If time heals and makes you forget how can absence make the heart grow fonder?” That is a very valid question. I think it’s safe to say that the amount of absence is relevant for both quotes.
All of what I blog about comes from my day to day life. What happens to me in my own little world. What is funny is that a lot of what I blog comes from the fact that I have the same type of questions about life that 15-16 year olds have. I have more experience than they do, but I certainly don’t have all of the answers.
When I read this in my Bible I had to sit back a minute and just meditate on it. I was very taken back by it. I guess because I have lived the better part of my life “searching” for something. I never knew what I was searching for; I just knew that something was missing. It wasn’t until recently that I figured out what the something was.. God!
Now I have always known God. AND I have always loved God. AND I have always tried to make choices that would be pleasing to God. BUT I wasn’t seeking Him with all of my heart. It may be easy for some people and that’s great, but for me it’s difficult at times.
Isn’t it kind of like this for everything though? I mean if something is important to you, you go after it, but you never fully reach your full potential unless you go after it with all of your heart.
I have a feeling I will be writing on this subject again.
On another note:
I had my students come up with quotes. They could be about anything they felt helped them describe a positive emotion. Here are a few of the quotes that they came up with. I don’t have who said them, because this wasn’t that kind of assignment and it’s not that kind of class. They were just told to look for quotes that reach out and grab them.
“Time heals what reason cannot”
“In the absence of love, there is nothing worth fighting for”
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”
“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”
“The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference”
“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her”
“You call it madness, but I call it love”
Now the majority of my class is 15-16 year old girls. Which may seem obvious by their choice of quotes, but the guys put in on this too. What I find interesting was that they were all in agreement that when you are talking about love/emotions things seem super confusing. My favorite comment was.. “If time heals and makes you forget how can absence make the heart grow fonder?” That is a very valid question. I think it’s safe to say that the amount of absence is relevant for both quotes.
All of what I blog about comes from my day to day life. What happens to me in my own little world. What is funny is that a lot of what I blog comes from the fact that I have the same type of questions about life that 15-16 year olds have. I have more experience than they do, but I certainly don’t have all of the answers.
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)
More coming on this one...
More coming on this one...
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
My VERSE of the WEEK!!
James 1:3-4 (New King James Version)
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Am I the only one?
It’s Monday.. It’s not a bad day-- It’s just a Monday. Ever wonder if you were meant for more? Please tell me that I am not the only one. I have been thinking a lot lately about what it is I want in life. I am pretty sure it’s probably close to what everyone else wants in life… Family, A job I enjoy, home, stability, happiness, love.. And truth is I have that.
Last Sunday the preacher spoke about the importance of marriage. My oldest daughter looked at me several times while we were in the service. It was obvious she had something on her mind. So I wasn’t surprised when she asked me if I was “OK” after church. I was fine of course, but she was worried that what the preacher said would make me feel bad.
Let me clarify.. she thought that I would feel bad not because she thinks I was wrong for being divorced, but because he talked so much about how people are born with a desire to be with someone. She doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to explain to her that I am going to be fine no matter what. That no matter what my situation ends up being, I will never actually be alone. BUT she is 15 sooo…
Life is so contradictory! We crave companionship, but are supposed to be patient. We are supposed to be patient, but play an active role in achieving our goals. We are allowed to love, but forced to deal with free will. Am I the only one who just doesn’t get it?
Be content today, February 28, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Last Sunday the preacher spoke about the importance of marriage. My oldest daughter looked at me several times while we were in the service. It was obvious she had something on her mind. So I wasn’t surprised when she asked me if I was “OK” after church. I was fine of course, but she was worried that what the preacher said would make me feel bad.
Let me clarify.. she thought that I would feel bad not because she thinks I was wrong for being divorced, but because he talked so much about how people are born with a desire to be with someone. She doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to explain to her that I am going to be fine no matter what. That no matter what my situation ends up being, I will never actually be alone. BUT she is 15 sooo…
Life is so contradictory! We crave companionship, but are supposed to be patient. We are supposed to be patient, but play an active role in achieving our goals. We are allowed to love, but forced to deal with free will. Am I the only one who just doesn’t get it?
Be content today, February 28, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Balance…
Something was just brought to my attention. It’s one of those things that I have had an opinion about for a very long time, but all it too was one simple conversation to alter my way of thinking. Crazy huh?
I have always believed that balance in life meant that you had to have good things and bad things in your life. Let me try and explain. If your family was in good health, your finances are going well, and you enjoyed your profession, your personal life would not be good. I feel like I am as clear as mud on this one. Basically I have pretty much always felt that no one could really have it all.
My family amazes me on a daily basis. I have the most fabulous kids on the planet! I have great friends. I have a job I enjoy. AND I am buying a new house! All wonderful things… I am content in those areas of my life. Because I am so happy with those things, I have a tendency to neglect my personal life. I settle for what ever is given to me because I have always felt that if I prayed for and hoped for someone to come in my life and be there for me that I would seem selfish and un appreciative of the Blessings that are already present. I have always felt guilty for wanting more.
No one has ever questioned my way of thinking. This is partly because I am not all that open to talking about things like that, and partly because me thinking that way is beneficial to others in a lot of ways. If I believe that it’s selfish to want to be treated well then people who choose to take advantage of that will. Truth is people have been doing just that for a very long time. I think it’s about time for a change.
Sometimes change is a bad thing. This time change is a good thing!
That’s all I have on this one. I may write more later, but for now enjoy today February 24, 2011! I am.
I have always believed that balance in life meant that you had to have good things and bad things in your life. Let me try and explain. If your family was in good health, your finances are going well, and you enjoyed your profession, your personal life would not be good. I feel like I am as clear as mud on this one. Basically I have pretty much always felt that no one could really have it all.
My family amazes me on a daily basis. I have the most fabulous kids on the planet! I have great friends. I have a job I enjoy. AND I am buying a new house! All wonderful things… I am content in those areas of my life. Because I am so happy with those things, I have a tendency to neglect my personal life. I settle for what ever is given to me because I have always felt that if I prayed for and hoped for someone to come in my life and be there for me that I would seem selfish and un appreciative of the Blessings that are already present. I have always felt guilty for wanting more.
No one has ever questioned my way of thinking. This is partly because I am not all that open to talking about things like that, and partly because me thinking that way is beneficial to others in a lot of ways. If I believe that it’s selfish to want to be treated well then people who choose to take advantage of that will. Truth is people have been doing just that for a very long time. I think it’s about time for a change.
Sometimes change is a bad thing. This time change is a good thing!
That’s all I have on this one. I may write more later, but for now enjoy today February 24, 2011! I am.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I am going to do this... do you want to join me?
Write down whatever has been on your mental running list of why you’ve mistakenly thought you’re disqualified from God’s unconditional love. Then pray, thanking Jesus for dying for you and nailing it on the cross once and for all. Then tear up or burn the list.
The above suggestion was in a devotion that I read and then re-read. Funny how that happens. We read something one time and then see it again a few days later and it takes on a whole new meaning. Anyway, I am going to do this. I am giong to put a lot of time and effort into making a sincere list and then I am going to make an even stronger effort to LET IT GO!
Peace and Love for you today! :) May write more later... we shall see.
The above suggestion was in a devotion that I read and then re-read. Funny how that happens. We read something one time and then see it again a few days later and it takes on a whole new meaning. Anyway, I am going to do this. I am giong to put a lot of time and effort into making a sincere list and then I am going to make an even stronger effort to LET IT GO!
Peace and Love for you today! :) May write more later... we shall see.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Never doubt the power of FAITH…
It's been an interesting weekend. Our dog, Kiwi, got hit by a car. She was banged up pretty bad and had to be taken to the vet. What made it worse was that my kids saw her get hit. She had to have her leg sewn up and she has fractures in her hip. We prayed a lot!
Kiwi had to stay at the vet Sunday night and both of my daughters came in and told me that they dreamed that Kiwi came home with a lime green bandage on her leg… they had faith that she would be ok.
When things that don’t seem to be so positive in our lives happen, God allows other things to come along to help us keep our positive attitude and maybe even change our perspective. In my house, we are firm believers in “everything happens for a reason”. God is not a mean or vengeful God. He wants us to live in peace.
My daughters' faith that God would heal Kiwi gave them the peace they needed to deal with their sadness. It’s funny how God always knows just when to send comfort your way. I am thankful for my peace and for the little blessings that God sends me just exactly when I need them. Just this weekend I recieved encouragement from an old friend right when I needed it. :)
Kiwi came home from the vet yesterday with a lime green bandage on her leg! FAITH it’s some powerful stuff! Be encouraged today, February, 22, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get. !!Peace and Happiness!!
Kiwi had to stay at the vet Sunday night and both of my daughters came in and told me that they dreamed that Kiwi came home with a lime green bandage on her leg… they had faith that she would be ok.
When things that don’t seem to be so positive in our lives happen, God allows other things to come along to help us keep our positive attitude and maybe even change our perspective. In my house, we are firm believers in “everything happens for a reason”. God is not a mean or vengeful God. He wants us to live in peace.
My daughters' faith that God would heal Kiwi gave them the peace they needed to deal with their sadness. It’s funny how God always knows just when to send comfort your way. I am thankful for my peace and for the little blessings that God sends me just exactly when I need them. Just this weekend I recieved encouragement from an old friend right when I needed it. :)
Kiwi came home from the vet yesterday with a lime green bandage on her leg! FAITH it’s some powerful stuff! Be encouraged today, February, 22, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get. !!Peace and Happiness!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Quick updates on my goals…
Goal 1- Relationships: In some areas I am doing GREAT! I have actually allowed some people to get to know me better. I have talked to a couple of people that I don’t know. I only had one major “fail” in this area, but all-in-all, I still have a TON of work to do! UGH! Week 1 goal 1 -> Fail
Goal 2- Finances: Doing fine in this area. I haven’t over spent. Put money in savings. AND caught a HUGE SALE with Kortney for some work clothes.. (that are SUPER CUTE!! Can’t wait to wear them some where besides work!!) Week 1 goal 2 -> SAME
Goal 3- Physical: Yeah I am actually kicking butt and takin’ names on this one! Been watching what I eat all week.. drinking tons of water.. eating my mufas.. and working out everyday! OK there was Monday—when I burned dinner and had to eat left over pizza, but I only ate 2 pieces and I did work out a little extra that night to make up for it.. so let’s label week one for goal 3 SUCCESS!!!
I am still encouraged! Down days are normal.. I am putting it in my head right now though that I will not allow myself the same mistakes no matter what the situation. I got this!! ;)
I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
Enjoy today—February 17, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Goal 2- Finances: Doing fine in this area. I haven’t over spent. Put money in savings. AND caught a HUGE SALE with Kortney for some work clothes.. (that are SUPER CUTE!! Can’t wait to wear them some where besides work!!) Week 1 goal 2 -> SAME
Goal 3- Physical: Yeah I am actually kicking butt and takin’ names on this one! Been watching what I eat all week.. drinking tons of water.. eating my mufas.. and working out everyday! OK there was Monday—when I burned dinner and had to eat left over pizza, but I only ate 2 pieces and I did work out a little extra that night to make up for it.. so let’s label week one for goal 3 SUCCESS!!!
I am still encouraged! Down days are normal.. I am putting it in my head right now though that I will not allow myself the same mistakes no matter what the situation. I got this!! ;)
I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
Enjoy today—February 17, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I know it’s not right for me but…..
This is a hard one for me.
First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.
The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.
OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.
Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.
I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”? I broke my "one tear rule". :.(
Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.
First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.
The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.
OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.
Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.
I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”? I broke my "one tear rule". :.(
Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Today could have gone way way better....
Ever have one of those days that seem to start out pretty good, but as time passes, you realize that going to bed a few hours early may be the only thing that saves you from shedding some tears? Yeah, it's no secret, I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day, I don't want to go into, why... just not a big fan. BUT that't not why this day could have been better.. well not the only reason. Burning dinnner, my entire house (including my clothes) smelling like smoke, kids fighting, I could go on for a while on this one.. but I won't.
Just a down day... guess everyone has them. I am no exception to the rule. So today was mine. I didn't use my one tear rule-- I am saving that for later. Today wasn't even close to bad enough to cry. Just frustrating that's all.
Today could have gone way better, but it could have gone way worse too!! Dwellng on my BLESSINGS right now! Thank God for the people who never forget to remember me! I love them!!!
Just a down day... guess everyone has them. I am no exception to the rule. So today was mine. I didn't use my one tear rule-- I am saving that for later. Today wasn't even close to bad enough to cry. Just frustrating that's all.
Today could have gone way better, but it could have gone way worse too!! Dwellng on my BLESSINGS right now! Thank God for the people who never forget to remember me! I love them!!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Haven't written in a few days..
Don't worry nothing's wrong, I've just been lazy with the whole blog thing the past few days. The last time I posted it was about not getting what you want. I didn't go into what was in my head, but I knew what I was talking about. :) Today, of course I don't feel the same as I did the last time I posted. That's one of those weird things ab out being human... our emotions fluctuate from day to day.. sometimes minute to minute. Things that seems so pressing, so important one minute don't seem so important the next.
I have a lot of things I want. AND the truth of the matter is God has blessed me with most of what I have asked for and absolutely everything that I need. When I want more, I actually feel bad. Like I am not appreciative of what I already have. I am so appreciative I promise... sometimes I feel bad asking for more.
God knows what's on my mind before I even say it... and he is reminded of it when I pray. What I am going to ask of myself is to put more effort into getting what I want. There are 3 areas I would like to improve.. I am not going to go into details, but here's the general idea. 1) Relationships- with God, family, friends, and yes even the romantic kind. I want to put more of me into my relationships. Of course this is a hard one because you can't control what other people do. So you never know what reaction you will get. I am just going to work on my side of this and hope that the reactions I get from my changing are favorable. 2) Financial- This is actually probably the easiest one. Not that I am rich, but just that the past few years have taught me to be super frugal. Now though it's time to start taking some risks to continue to move forward. 3) Physically- This is all me! Self-control ugh! I am going to have to depend on me to make good choices. YUK! I stink at this one!
What I am going to do is challenge myself to 30 days of improvement in each of these areas. I am writing my own personal goals (not online as they are personal) and seeing where I am by March 11, 2011. Don't worry I will write about them as I go. Now I am asking that you help me by doing the most powerful thing you can do.. pray!
You can't always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you want later than you thought you should have. Sometimes you never get what you want. Sometimes you have to work harder for what you want. Sometimes what you want is just handed to you... BUT always you get what you need just when you need it!
I have a lot of things I want. AND the truth of the matter is God has blessed me with most of what I have asked for and absolutely everything that I need. When I want more, I actually feel bad. Like I am not appreciative of what I already have. I am so appreciative I promise... sometimes I feel bad asking for more.
God knows what's on my mind before I even say it... and he is reminded of it when I pray. What I am going to ask of myself is to put more effort into getting what I want. There are 3 areas I would like to improve.. I am not going to go into details, but here's the general idea. 1) Relationships- with God, family, friends, and yes even the romantic kind. I want to put more of me into my relationships. Of course this is a hard one because you can't control what other people do. So you never know what reaction you will get. I am just going to work on my side of this and hope that the reactions I get from my changing are favorable. 2) Financial- This is actually probably the easiest one. Not that I am rich, but just that the past few years have taught me to be super frugal. Now though it's time to start taking some risks to continue to move forward. 3) Physically- This is all me! Self-control ugh! I am going to have to depend on me to make good choices. YUK! I stink at this one!
What I am going to do is challenge myself to 30 days of improvement in each of these areas. I am writing my own personal goals (not online as they are personal) and seeing where I am by March 11, 2011. Don't worry I will write about them as I go. Now I am asking that you help me by doing the most powerful thing you can do.. pray!
You can't always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you want later than you thought you should have. Sometimes you never get what you want. Sometimes you have to work harder for what you want. Sometimes what you want is just handed to you... BUT always you get what you need just when you need it!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
You can't always get what you want...
Boy is that true! Another snow day- means another day in the house- means tons of time to think- means tons of time to write. Before I get too far into this one, let me just say that I started cleaning my closet yesterday (my real closet that's not a figure of speech) and I got all of our laundry done. Of course there is more laundry already, but I still felt I accomplished something. :)
The trouble with being cooped up is it gives you way too much time to think. I already think way too much about things so you can imagine how crazy I'm going after being inside for a while.
Everyday I try to read a devotional. Usually I read the Proverbs31.com devotional right after I get to work. It really is my favorite and you can find a link to it at the bottom of my page. Some days I read it and I'm like.. "Oh that was nice." Other days, like today I read it and I am like..."Oh wow, I get it!" I have copied and pasted part of it below. (It's the bold/italicised part.) This particular entry was written by Marybeth Whalen.
February 3, 2011 Stay In the Shade
Marybeth Whalen
“There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son,
all the way you went until you reached this place.”
Deuteronomy 1:31 (NIV)
Last summer I ran almost every day, often in the hottest part of the day. As I ran I would anticipate the moments when I would run under the shade trees, receiving cool relief for a few moments from the unrelenting summer sun.
One day as I was running under the shade trees, I said to the Lord (I talked to God a lot as I ran), “Why can’t I just stay in the shade all the time?” To me this made perfect sense. I could run under the tree cover every day, always comfortable, always taken care of. Wouldn’t a loving Father want that for me, I reasoned?
His answer—as it often does—hit me right between the eyes. Well, that makes sense now, but how are you going to feel about that shade when it turns cold? I had to smile at His point. Staying in the shade makes sense sometimes, but other times it’s the last thing we need.
..........
I will be writing more on this later today.. I am just at a loss for words right now. Yes I'll admit it, I am thinking way too much and what's in my head is just not ready to be written down yet. Look for an update later this afternoon.. Until then, enjoy today February 3, 2011. Snowed in or not, it's the only one you will ever get.
The trouble with being cooped up is it gives you way too much time to think. I already think way too much about things so you can imagine how crazy I'm going after being inside for a while.
Everyday I try to read a devotional. Usually I read the Proverbs31.com devotional right after I get to work. It really is my favorite and you can find a link to it at the bottom of my page. Some days I read it and I'm like.. "Oh that was nice." Other days, like today I read it and I am like..."Oh wow, I get it!" I have copied and pasted part of it below. (It's the bold/italicised part.) This particular entry was written by Marybeth Whalen.
February 3, 2011 Stay In the Shade
Marybeth Whalen
“There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son,
all the way you went until you reached this place.”
Deuteronomy 1:31 (NIV)
Last summer I ran almost every day, often in the hottest part of the day. As I ran I would anticipate the moments when I would run under the shade trees, receiving cool relief for a few moments from the unrelenting summer sun.
One day as I was running under the shade trees, I said to the Lord (I talked to God a lot as I ran), “Why can’t I just stay in the shade all the time?” To me this made perfect sense. I could run under the tree cover every day, always comfortable, always taken care of. Wouldn’t a loving Father want that for me, I reasoned?
His answer—as it often does—hit me right between the eyes. Well, that makes sense now, but how are you going to feel about that shade when it turns cold? I had to smile at His point. Staying in the shade makes sense sometimes, but other times it’s the last thing we need.
..........
I will be writing more on this later today.. I am just at a loss for words right now. Yes I'll admit it, I am thinking way too much and what's in my head is just not ready to be written down yet. Look for an update later this afternoon.. Until then, enjoy today February 3, 2011. Snowed in or not, it's the only one you will ever get.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Hmmmm...
God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you... my daughter and I have been singing that song together. I like it. OK truth is I love it! It's a hopeful song.
If you don't know it the song by heart like we do.. here are some of the lyrics.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Of course you know me.. it got me to thinking. How many times do we see signs pointing us where we need to go and we ignore them? Leads to some long days and sleepless nights. We let the craziness of our everyday life get in the way.. or worse we let our past get in the way of our future.
What I like about this song is what I like in movies, it has a happy ending! No candy coating the situation, the song talks about having many broken hearts before finding what was true. I talked to my friend Kortney today about having to have the downs in life to appreciate the ups. I agree with that! True happiness comes with a price tag that can only be paid through experience. Even my 15 year old daughter gets it.. well in her own silly way. She reminded me long ago that "you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince." LOL
Snow days are getting a little out of hand- we have the rest of the week off.. ugh this is cutting into my summer! I feel loved today, February 2, 2011, and I am enjoying it because you guessed it, it's the only one I will ever get!
If you don't know it the song by heart like we do.. here are some of the lyrics.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Of course you know me.. it got me to thinking. How many times do we see signs pointing us where we need to go and we ignore them? Leads to some long days and sleepless nights. We let the craziness of our everyday life get in the way.. or worse we let our past get in the way of our future.
What I like about this song is what I like in movies, it has a happy ending! No candy coating the situation, the song talks about having many broken hearts before finding what was true. I talked to my friend Kortney today about having to have the downs in life to appreciate the ups. I agree with that! True happiness comes with a price tag that can only be paid through experience. Even my 15 year old daughter gets it.. well in her own silly way. She reminded me long ago that "you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince." LOL
Snow days are getting a little out of hand- we have the rest of the week off.. ugh this is cutting into my summer! I feel loved today, February 2, 2011, and I am enjoying it because you guessed it, it's the only one I will ever get!
My Ah Ha Moment... Thanks Oprah (AND Shellee)
Ok honestly I don't really watch Oprah very much at all, but Nana does and she fills me in on the points she sees as relevant to me....
Today is another snow day. While the kids are excited about it, I would rather be in school and get out for my summer! I love warmer weather. BUT I suppose it has given me some time to get some things done. I could certainly clean house today... more likely I will play, but I could clean house if I wanted to! :)
Now what was it I wanted to write about today? Oh yeah my "ah ha moment". I have them daily, but this one hit me just last night after a talk with my friend Shellee. Are you ready? This one is BIG!
Everything is NOT always my fault!
If I have questions about something and I ask the wrong way, that's because I am human. If I my feelings get hurt and I want whoever to make things right.. that's because I am human. It's not because of my past or any one in my past. Of course I have issues; everyone has issues, but my issues are no worse (or better) than anyone elses. As a a matter of fact, my biggest issue is being able to let people get close to me because I am scared to let my guard down. THAT IS MY BIGGEST ISSUE! Judge me if you want.. it's ok. I have been judged before, but if you actually take the time to get to know me, you will see that I have a ton of other amazing qualities that out weigh that "issue".
I'd like to take a minute to just go over the things that I do NOT have issues with. OK here goes..
I do not have an issue with loyalty. Once you are in, you are in!
I do not have an issue with commitment. (Actually if you look at my background.. I have been a little too committed at times.)
I do not have an issue with placing blame on others. (I usually place it on myself)
I do not have an issue with admitting I was wrong and apologizing. (I have even apologized to my children when I felt I had hurt them or done wrong by them.)
I do not have an issue with judging people. (I even try to walk away from gossip.)
I do not have an issue with always having to be "right".
I do not have an issue with always being negative.
Wow, I could go on for a while here. I'm thinking my "issues" don't seem quite so abnormal or large anymore. I am not an easy shell to crack, but the people who have taken the time to truly know me have stuck with me for a very long time. That's got to say something about me. If I was wrong, I will admit it and apologize, but not everything is my fault. Thankfully, I am not naive enough to buy into that theory.
Today is February 2, 2011. (Another snow day) Enjoy it! It's the only one you will ever get! For me I see sledding, snow angels, snowball fights, and a snowman in my future! :)
Today is another snow day. While the kids are excited about it, I would rather be in school and get out for my summer! I love warmer weather. BUT I suppose it has given me some time to get some things done. I could certainly clean house today... more likely I will play, but I could clean house if I wanted to! :)
Now what was it I wanted to write about today? Oh yeah my "ah ha moment". I have them daily, but this one hit me just last night after a talk with my friend Shellee. Are you ready? This one is BIG!
Everything is NOT always my fault!
If I have questions about something and I ask the wrong way, that's because I am human. If I my feelings get hurt and I want whoever to make things right.. that's because I am human. It's not because of my past or any one in my past. Of course I have issues; everyone has issues, but my issues are no worse (or better) than anyone elses. As a a matter of fact, my biggest issue is being able to let people get close to me because I am scared to let my guard down. THAT IS MY BIGGEST ISSUE! Judge me if you want.. it's ok. I have been judged before, but if you actually take the time to get to know me, you will see that I have a ton of other amazing qualities that out weigh that "issue".
I'd like to take a minute to just go over the things that I do NOT have issues with. OK here goes..
I do not have an issue with loyalty. Once you are in, you are in!
I do not have an issue with commitment. (Actually if you look at my background.. I have been a little too committed at times.)
I do not have an issue with placing blame on others. (I usually place it on myself)
I do not have an issue with admitting I was wrong and apologizing. (I have even apologized to my children when I felt I had hurt them or done wrong by them.)
I do not have an issue with judging people. (I even try to walk away from gossip.)
I do not have an issue with always having to be "right".
I do not have an issue with always being negative.
Wow, I could go on for a while here. I'm thinking my "issues" don't seem quite so abnormal or large anymore. I am not an easy shell to crack, but the people who have taken the time to truly know me have stuck with me for a very long time. That's got to say something about me. If I was wrong, I will admit it and apologize, but not everything is my fault. Thankfully, I am not naive enough to buy into that theory.
Today is February 2, 2011. (Another snow day) Enjoy it! It's the only one you will ever get! For me I see sledding, snow angels, snowball fights, and a snowman in my future! :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Trust
Trust.. hard to earn, easy to lose! You've heard all the sayings about how trust takes years to build but only minutes to tear down. Well.. That's true. AND of course it's true for me too! A while back, I was hurt... and by hurt I meant HURT BAD! Trouble with getting "hurt bad" and losing trust in someone is that you have a tendency to live your life with the gloves on and your guard up.
Don't feel like writing anymore.. will continue this later :(
Don't feel like writing anymore.. will continue this later :(
Priorities.. What are yours?
Priorities- Do you know what yours are? I am 100% sure of what my priorities are! BUT sometimes I let stuff get in the way of what I am sure of. Please tell me I am not the only one.
God
Family
Work
Then of course those are split up into categories.. like family -> kids first and then everyone else. My close friends are in this category too.
The one priority that I mess up with the most is God. So so many times I put everything else in front of Him even though I know better. But there is another priority that I seem to put low on my list on a regular basis, ME! I have all of these things that I know I want for myself.. you know kind of a list of goals or standards I have set for me and how I want people to treat me. BUT more often than not I let myself down and I let others treat me just any old way.
That's why I am so thankful for the people who take the time to get to know me and treat me with respect. The ones who know my flaws and don't take advantage of me. Now don't go thinkin' I'm weak, because I'm not, but I do have flaws. I know I am kind of rambling on this one.. not sure where I am going with it really, just writing to write I guess. I would just like to be someones priorty one of these days.
A fresh start.. a new month.. today is February 1, 2011. Make living it to the fullest a priority because it's the only one you will every get!
God
Family
Work
Then of course those are split up into categories.. like family -> kids first and then everyone else. My close friends are in this category too.
The one priority that I mess up with the most is God. So so many times I put everything else in front of Him even though I know better. But there is another priority that I seem to put low on my list on a regular basis, ME! I have all of these things that I know I want for myself.. you know kind of a list of goals or standards I have set for me and how I want people to treat me. BUT more often than not I let myself down and I let others treat me just any old way.
That's why I am so thankful for the people who take the time to get to know me and treat me with respect. The ones who know my flaws and don't take advantage of me. Now don't go thinkin' I'm weak, because I'm not, but I do have flaws. I know I am kind of rambling on this one.. not sure where I am going with it really, just writing to write I guess. I would just like to be someones priorty one of these days.
A fresh start.. a new month.. today is February 1, 2011. Make living it to the fullest a priority because it's the only one you will every get!
Monday, January 31, 2011
My Testimony...
tes-ti-mo-ny:
1. Law . the statement or declaration of a witness under oath or affirmation, usually in court.
2. evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof.
3. open declaration or profession, as of faith.
This is my testimony.. well at least one of my testimonies. I have several. As a matter of fact, I believe that life should be a daily testimony. Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, it's no the best testimony, but every day is a statement of who I am. This is just one of the most recent ones.
So here goes...
The Test
In order to appreciate the testimony, you have to hear a little bit of the background. I don't want to go too far into it, but here are the main points. About three and a half years ago my husband left me with four children. I didn't have enough money to cover all of the bills and had too much pride/embarrassment to ask anyone for help. So very quickly things started piling up and before long I was juggling electric and car payments to buy groceries and praying that checks didn't bounce and lights were on when we got home. The mortgage company started foreclosure proceedings on my house, and I can't lie, I was scared.
Family
My Dad called to talk to me, like he normally did, but must have known that something was wrong, because he drove from Indiana and was at my house in Oklahoma the next day. With his help and the help of other family members, I was able to sell my house and move closer to home.
The Testimony
That with a few more surprises put my finances in shambles. I wanted to stay positive, but I can't lie I never thought that I would be able to find my way out. BUT I prayed and continued to try and stay positive. I surrounded myself with positive people. I even read some books and did some research about how to build my credit back up. That was all great, but I hadn't worked up enough courage to try anything different with anything concerning money. I had savings, but I was scared to touch anything or spend anything for fear that I would be back to the point of worrying about feeding my children and keeping the lights on.
The Epiphany
Pastor Watts has been preaching about "Running Your Race". I have blogged about it a couple of times. He made the comment that we should have an "Attitude of Expectance". At first I was like.. I can't do that. I work hard and I don't expect anything from anyone! BUT after I stopped and listened to what he meant, and took a minute to let it sink in, I agreed with him. (If you want to know a little more about his sermon, you can just read my previous blogs.) So I adjusted my attitude a little and went to God with my desires as far as my finances. In less than 2 days 2 major things happened. 1) I got word that my daughter's college tuition would be paid in full! 2) I was approved for a loan on a house that is now officially under contract to me! I am weeks away from becoming a home owner! :)
Two major burdens were lifted! Not because I am perfect. Not because I always make the right choices. Not because I always try to do the right thing.. but because God is perfect! I am loved by the highest Power, and good times or bad He is with me!
The Outcome
2011 is going to be the best year so far! Philipians 4:13 has a whole new meaning to me! I used to look at that verse and interpret it like this.. "I can get through all of the bad times through Him who give me strength."
NOW I see it just how it is written.. "I can do ALL THINGS through Him who gives me strength!"
Well, there you go- my testimony for today, January 31, 2011. Make the most out of it, because it's the only on you will ever gt!
1. Law . the statement or declaration of a witness under oath or affirmation, usually in court.
2. evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof.
3. open declaration or profession, as of faith.
This is my testimony.. well at least one of my testimonies. I have several. As a matter of fact, I believe that life should be a daily testimony. Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, it's no the best testimony, but every day is a statement of who I am. This is just one of the most recent ones.
So here goes...
The Test
In order to appreciate the testimony, you have to hear a little bit of the background. I don't want to go too far into it, but here are the main points. About three and a half years ago my husband left me with four children. I didn't have enough money to cover all of the bills and had too much pride/embarrassment to ask anyone for help. So very quickly things started piling up and before long I was juggling electric and car payments to buy groceries and praying that checks didn't bounce and lights were on when we got home. The mortgage company started foreclosure proceedings on my house, and I can't lie, I was scared.
Family
My Dad called to talk to me, like he normally did, but must have known that something was wrong, because he drove from Indiana and was at my house in Oklahoma the next day. With his help and the help of other family members, I was able to sell my house and move closer to home.
The Testimony
That with a few more surprises put my finances in shambles. I wanted to stay positive, but I can't lie I never thought that I would be able to find my way out. BUT I prayed and continued to try and stay positive. I surrounded myself with positive people. I even read some books and did some research about how to build my credit back up. That was all great, but I hadn't worked up enough courage to try anything different with anything concerning money. I had savings, but I was scared to touch anything or spend anything for fear that I would be back to the point of worrying about feeding my children and keeping the lights on.
The Epiphany
Pastor Watts has been preaching about "Running Your Race". I have blogged about it a couple of times. He made the comment that we should have an "Attitude of Expectance". At first I was like.. I can't do that. I work hard and I don't expect anything from anyone! BUT after I stopped and listened to what he meant, and took a minute to let it sink in, I agreed with him. (If you want to know a little more about his sermon, you can just read my previous blogs.) So I adjusted my attitude a little and went to God with my desires as far as my finances. In less than 2 days 2 major things happened. 1) I got word that my daughter's college tuition would be paid in full! 2) I was approved for a loan on a house that is now officially under contract to me! I am weeks away from becoming a home owner! :)
Two major burdens were lifted! Not because I am perfect. Not because I always make the right choices. Not because I always try to do the right thing.. but because God is perfect! I am loved by the highest Power, and good times or bad He is with me!
The Outcome
2011 is going to be the best year so far! Philipians 4:13 has a whole new meaning to me! I used to look at that verse and interpret it like this.. "I can get through all of the bad times through Him who give me strength."
NOW I see it just how it is written.. "I can do ALL THINGS through Him who gives me strength!"
Well, there you go- my testimony for today, January 31, 2011. Make the most out of it, because it's the only on you will ever gt!
Friday, January 28, 2011
I gotta admit, I was jealous..
I know jealousy is an ugly thing! BUT I have to admit today I got a little jealous.
Here's what happened...
I was taking my son to his Martial Arts class and while we were in the parking lot I saw a man (about my age) go around his truck and open the door for his wife.
Let me go on and admit a few things about me:
1) I am super independent! I like to get stuff done on my own with out having to depend on anyone. Yeah I get that this is not necessarily a good thing, but I never said that I was just admitting all of my good qualities.
2) I am a bit of a "Tomboy". I like to do stuff like play sports, watch sports, look at old cars, play video games, fish.. shoot one of my longest running dreams has been to watch a game at Wrigley!
3) This is the hardest one for me to admit.. I am a closet romantic.
OK now it's out! I like to be treated like a lady. I like doors to be opened for me. I like to be given flowers, presents, and treated to dinner. I secretly dream that someone will actually get down on one knee and well.. you know the rest. The fact that I am not your typical girl doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like one every now and then. I guess this ended up like more of a rant than anything else.. sorry about that. This is just one of those things I had to work out I guess.
YES I was jealous.. I am over it now, but I liked seeing that there were still guys out there that are not afraid to treat women with respect. If you have someone in your life that treats you like this.. feel free to share! Every now and then I need to be reminded that men like that really do exist. Question of the day.. "Why are there NO ..sweep you off your feet and love you like no other people.. out there anymore?" Just curious.
Anyway.. Enjoy the rest of today January 28, 2011. It's the only one you will ever get! - Good night and God Bless!
Here's what happened...
I was taking my son to his Martial Arts class and while we were in the parking lot I saw a man (about my age) go around his truck and open the door for his wife.
Let me go on and admit a few things about me:
1) I am super independent! I like to get stuff done on my own with out having to depend on anyone. Yeah I get that this is not necessarily a good thing, but I never said that I was just admitting all of my good qualities.
2) I am a bit of a "Tomboy". I like to do stuff like play sports, watch sports, look at old cars, play video games, fish.. shoot one of my longest running dreams has been to watch a game at Wrigley!
3) This is the hardest one for me to admit.. I am a closet romantic.
OK now it's out! I like to be treated like a lady. I like doors to be opened for me. I like to be given flowers, presents, and treated to dinner. I secretly dream that someone will actually get down on one knee and well.. you know the rest. The fact that I am not your typical girl doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like one every now and then. I guess this ended up like more of a rant than anything else.. sorry about that. This is just one of those things I had to work out I guess.
YES I was jealous.. I am over it now, but I liked seeing that there were still guys out there that are not afraid to treat women with respect. If you have someone in your life that treats you like this.. feel free to share! Every now and then I need to be reminded that men like that really do exist. Question of the day.. "Why are there NO ..sweep you off your feet and love you like no other people.. out there anymore?" Just curious.
Anyway.. Enjoy the rest of today January 28, 2011. It's the only one you will ever get! - Good night and God Bless!
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