Just a thought...

Truth is, sometimes life just kinda sucks..  Now before you go thinking that this is going to be a negative post, just remember who you are dealing with here.  I am not generally a negative person, so stay with me for a minute...

Have you ever heard someone say something like..  "If you think your life is bad, look around.  Someone always has it worse."  Or if something bad happens to someone else, you look at their situation and determine that now your life is in perspective?  I have and I have.  I always try to look at things and find that silver lining.  (Notice I said "try".)  It's not always easy though.

I live my life knowing that I am truly blessed!  My world revolves around my amazing kids!  They are my life for sure!  But it doesn't mean I don't get hurt!  I trust people a little too much and yeah you guessed it, I get hurt a lot.  I am one of those crazy people who want to believe that people in general are good.  I want to believe that if you say I will be there, you mean it!    If you say I'll do it, you do it! If you say I love you, you show it! To me that doesn't seem like such a tall order.  Each one of those things has a very simple solution to avoid any and all confusion... Are your ready for me to drop some major knowledge on you?  OK here goes..  the answer to the worlds problems ( ok not really, but it would certainly help a lot).  If you won't be there, don't say it!  If you won't do it, don't say you will!  AND most importantly..  if you are not willing to show someone that you love them, DON'T SAY YOU DO!  I challenge anyone to counter my solution..  because I absolutely do not believe that anyone can argue against it.

What I have learned is that when I do look around I realize that there are things that others have had to deal with that if I had to deal with, I would end up in a corner somewhere, in the fetal position, crying.  On the other hand people on the outside looking in see some of the things I have had to go through and feel the same way.  What's hard for me to deal with would be a walk in the park to someone else.  God gives me the strength to deal with the things I have to deal with.  When those little things happen that cause me to believe that  life kinda sucks sometimes, if I go to God, I make it through-  AND yes I find the silver lining.

If someone hurts me, I just make adjustments and keep going. If life seems unfair, I just keep my head up and wait for my turn.  It's just how you do things.  Life is not always cakes and roses (or in my case wings and football)..  nope sometimes is actually does make you feel like you want to give up.  People do things to you that break your heart.  There are a lot of selfish folks out there.  Shoot, at times I am one of them, but you just keep going.  God will never give you a mountain with out preparing you for the climb and giving you the appropriate gear!


I am about to go take a walk around the block to clear my head..

Don't forget to appreciate today, Mother's Day, May 13, 2012, it's the only one you will ever get!

Wish me LOVE because I certainly wish it for you! <3

Change is coming...

Ever just known that change is coming even though you have no idea what it is?  That's how I feel right now! It's frustrating having to wait. ..  can't lie, but what are you going to do?  I have had an "unsettled" feeling for quite some time now.  Not sad, not depressed, not even disappointed, just unsettled.  I realized that I have been searching for answers in the wrong places.  I appreciate what my friends and family do for me!  Love that they are there for me any time I need them, but this unsettled feeling will only go away if I  look inside for answers.

Prayer is a powerful thing... if you use it!  I pray daily and love my time with God, but my prayers have been lacking the faith to back them up.  You hear you are not worthy enough and you see people's actions that remind you  of things from your past, if you aren't careful you start to believe it that you will never be good enough.

I asked a friend of mine this question today..  "At what point do you stop putting everyoneelses' happy in front of your happy; trying to make up for past mistakes?"  He wasn't sure of an answer.  At first neither was I, but then it hit me.  YOU CAN NEVER MAKE UP FOR YOUR PAST MISTAKES!  You can only ask for forgiveness and let God help you move forward!  I am tired to trying to make something right that went wrong long ago.  I am giving up my guilt right now!   It's in the past and I have lived for a very long time trying to make things right!

It's time to let it go!  Now I know I will struggle, because this is something that I have held on to for a good part of my life..  it's become habit and habits are hard to break, but I know I am ready..  I want to see what God has in store for me and I am tired of blocking my blessings.  Fact is, it's just plain wearing me out.

I appreciate today..  March 4, 2012.  It's the only one I will ever get!

Wish me LOVE because I certainly wish it for you!
"B"

I'm calling YOU out!

I am just going to come out with it...  this is a RANT!  It is straight up just me getting things off of my chest.  So if that bothers you, I suggest you stop reading and wait til my next post!

Guys..  Listen up!  I am calling you out!  You know who you are!  Men in my life who have done something to try to bring me down or just make me feel stupid.

Mr. talk to me on the phone every night for a few months and then forget who I am.

Mr. "Hey can you send me a pic?"

Mr. cheat on me.

Mr. drive 7 hours to take me out...  talk to me for a month straight.  Calling me nightly and talking for hours..  Mr. fly me down to see you, take me out, show me a great time..  call me 3 times when I am on my way back home, and again when I get home and talk to me for hours...  AND then forget who I am.

Mr. "I like you, but you were married to ________, so I can't talk to you."

Mr. "If you were just 10 years younger."

Mr. "No my wife and I aren't really together..  we just live in the same house.. you know for the kids sake."

Mr. "Oh, you have THREEEE kids?"

Mr. "hey where's my sexy pic"?

Mr. hang out with me, act like my friend, and then ask me when I was going to suck your wwwoooo hoooo...  can't even bring myself to repeat that one.

Mr. manner less who feels the need to make rude remarks to me every chance you get.

Mr. "I just got you a great deal on a car..  when are we going to do it?"

Mr. call me names and try to talk me into believing I deserved it.

Mr. "Hey can I get a sexy pic...  the one on Facebook is nice, but you aren't naked."

Mr. "Wanna go on a date?"  (When we get there...  I end up having to pay.)

Mr. "I just don't understand why you're not attracted to me like all the other girls are?"

Mr. "Hey you gonna send me that pic"?

That's all I can think of right now, but dang when I read back over that I realized that it is by the grace of God that I don't hate men! 

Thank God for the men out there that love and respect women!  The men like my dad who would walk through fire to make sure the women in his life were taken care of.  Thank God for the men who realize that the best thing you can do for your children is treat their mother with absolute respect.  Thank God for then men who will happily take on a woman like me with "THREEEE" kids!  Thank God that there are good men out there..   Even though my sky has been a little clouded with the "smog" that has blown my way...  I know eventually the clouds will clear and a GREAT man will appear that respects me and treats me the way I am supposed to be treated!

Until then, I will continue to enjoy everyday that I am blessed with, including today February 12, 2012 because it's the only one I will ever get!

Wish me LOVE, because I definitely wish it for you!

<3 "B"

Why do they do that ish...

Why do people feel the need to try and make others feel less than their worth?  I see it all the time.. heck I see it happen to me all the time!  I've been called names, lied to, put down, you get the point, but what I don't understand is WHY?  Honestly, do you know really know me?  People who take the time to really get to know me know that I have a heart as big as Dallas.  I would give you my last dollar and the shirt off my back.  I do separate myself from people, but I would never wish anything bad on anyone, and I would never say "no" to anyone in need!  So why is it that people feel the need to try and make me feel small?

Wonderful thing about being older.......

.......is that.......

if you live life with an open mind, you learn from your experiences.  I am older- doesn't bother me at all!  My opinion is that I am in my prime!  LOL  I feel good and I have learned a lot about people.  ( I am still learning don't get me wrong.)  The one thing that I am 100% positive about is that you can never build your own worth by putting others down!!   Sooo...  why not just spend your effort building people up?  BELIEVE me a positive person who encourages the people around them is worth way more than someone who breaks people down! 

"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing."

~ Theodore Roosevelt

Just my other thoughts for today, February 9, 2012.  Enjoy it; it's the only one you will ever get!

Wish me LOVE!

"B"

Advocare- We Build Champions!

You see right through me

How do you do that....

<3

Ever feel forgotten?

Not sure, but I believe that everyone has felt as though they were forgotten at one point or another.  I know I have.  I have kind of this weird dynamic going on in my head.. On the one hand I know I am absolutely BLESSED beyond measure, but then on the other I feel that there is so much more for me out there.  One of my family's favorite movies is "Our Family Wedding".  Yeah even Tony sings "...I'll cook your dinner babe..  soon as I get home from work.."  We have a few faves of course, but this is definitely on the top 5 list.  What is crazy is that even  though my situation is definitely different, I can relate to the Mom in the movie.  She talks about being labeled as "just the mom"  and I so get that.  Even though I don't consider myself "just a mom" sometimes there is an overwhelming feeling that "mom" is the only thing that other people see me as.  Hands down there is absolutely no doubt about where my priorities lie..  my kids are #1!  I believe that God blessed me with the gift of being their mom.. and when God blesses you with a gift, I believe you need to do the very best you can with it!  I wear my mom badge with tons of pride! 

What gets a little frustrating is the fact that people can't seem to see me past being a mother to 3 kids.  All that "me time" that Dr. Phil and Oprah talk about means nothing if no one wants to share it with you..  OK I get that that seems like an oxymoron, but what I mean is I can read a magazine, do my nails, take a bath, all of those things by my self, but I don't get much "grown up time" because people around me are so focused on me being a mom.  Hard to explain, but I know exactly what I mean!  ;op 

ANYWAY, moving on.. I am on day 20 of the Advocare 24 day challenge and I am down 8 lbs.  (More like 10 lbs, but I don't count them unless I have kept them off for a couple of days.)  I feel better and I believe I look better!  I met my first goal already:  1) I want my clothes to fit better!    If you would like to see what I am talking about and maybe try some of the products for yourself here is my web page  www.advocare.com/11112702 .  I am more than happy to answer any questions you have!  It's the best "me" decision I have made in a very long time!

Be blessed today, 12/17/2011, it's the only one you will ever get!

~~Wish me Love!~~

Momentum Swings...

Coming soon :)

Cherish- That is an amazing word!

cher·ish

  [cher-ish] 

verb (used with object)

1.

to hold or treat as dear.

2.

to care for tenderly; nurture: to cherish a child.

Wow,  "to hold or treat as dear"!  Wouldn't it be wonderful if everyone had the chance to feel "cherished"?    

When a WOMAN Loves-- She loves for real!

I'm Back...

It's been a while since I have written.  Life has a way of keeping me running around in circles!  I don't think I could deal with boring.

What's been going on in the past few months?  Well, quite honestly a ton!  Of course every minute of my life is a minute to learn something new.  AND I have definitely learned some big lessons.

What lessons?  I am so glad you asked.

I learned that snakes can get into just about any place- even your bath tub!  AND no matter how small they are, they are scary!

I learned that the $1 goop that  kids get at the dollar store will end up costing you $10 in cleaning supplies to get it off of your sofa.

I learned that a dog can chew through a computer cord in mere seconds with 3 kids in the same room.

I learned that when your 16 year old starts driving is is nice to having someone to run errands for you, but be sleep becomes a lot harder to come by because waiting for them to get home is torture!

I learned that no matter how strong their mom is, little boys need strong male role models in their lives.

I learned that the more you love some one the more it hurts when they let you down.

I learned that there are some really weird people in this world and not all of them were raised like my family to have manners and understand boundaries.

I have also learned that I am actually a pretty great person just the way I am, and the people that matter accept me flaws and all!

Enjoy today September 12, 2011; it's the only one you will ever get!
~~**Wish me LOVE**~~

I woke up this morning with a new understanding about some things.

First things first- no longer will I allow myself to make someone a priority who doesn't do the same for me!  I know this one seems obvious, but it's harder that you think.  You can't make people change!  Only they can initiate  change.  I am very guilty of hanging on to something based off of what could be in the future while sitting in a bad situation in the present.  I get involved with someone (it doesn't have to be a boyfriend type relationship) and things are rocky from the start, but I listen to promises of love and understanding with absolutely no sign of those things right now and try to hang on until things get better.  Of course a year and a half later I end up sitting in a worse situation than I started with.

I was told not long ago that I choose those types of bad relationships to protect myself because I already know that they are going to end.  I struggled with that for a while, but I believe now that that may very well be true.  It's kind of a defense mechanism for me.  It's not going to last anyway, so why bother getting too upset about it?  The worst thing about that is that you end up settling for less than what you are worth.  You put up with things you know you don't deserve and in the end you have nothing to show for your pain.

My friend told me that I should visualize myself meeting genuine people and finding genuine relationships.  So I'm trying it!  AND I have to admit, I like it!

What I want- Someone who cares about me as much as I care about them, and shows it!  Someone who respects me and is there when I need them!  Someone who makes me a priority in their life and doesn't make a habit if breaking promises.  Someone who refuses to talk down to me like I lack intelligence.  Someone who makes an effort to see me as much as possible.  Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in a room full of people!  Someone who laughs with me, hurts when I am hurt, loves me with all of their heart!  .

Ok- there you have it... That's what I want!  That what I'm visualizing!  That's what's x-ing people off of my list!  I see myself successful!

How do you know if someone genuinely loves you?  Know what you want in a relationship.  Set up the parameters and make clear what you like and what you don't like.  If that person does something that you don't like tell them.  If they continue to hurt you- let them go.  If the love was genuine, they will initiate their own change because they never want to see you hurt again!

That's all I have for now!  I am going to work out and help me feel good about me.

Don't settle today 6/28/2011 or any other day!
*Wish me Love!*

Waited a long time for this...

I am just going to go ahead and come out with this....  I AM GOING TO CHICAGO TO WATCH A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY!!!  Whew-  I have waited a long time to be able to say that!  I am taking one of the 3 people who make my world turn- My beautiful 16 year old daughter Cydney Lynn!  I have never been so excited!  It's amazing what happens in your life if you just take a deep breath and jump sometimes!

I have spent many years worrying about other people- wishing that people would keep their promises to me and do the things that they say they will do, but I am finding out that it just doesn't work that way.  People say what they think you want to hear and then worry about their own agendas.  I have loved the Cubs since I was a little kid.  Someone made a promise to take me to a game years ago, but life (his life) got in the way and I never got to go.  So I am changing up how I do things...  if there is something I want to do, I am going to do it!  My son and I are already making plans to go to the Super Bowl for his 16th birthday!  I have a few years to save up ;)  AND my baby girl... she'll get to pick where she wants to go too!

I have always wanted to see a boardwalk--  I am taking a trip South to see one this summer!  NO more waiting on things just to find out that most people don't keep their word..  if I want it, I am going to find a way to make it happen!  

If you are in Chicago this week.. just look for me all decked out in my Cubs gear walking right beside one of the most beautiful girls in the world wearing her Yankees gear (booo)!  Tired of waiting for Superman!!  Why should I?  Especially when I feel like SUPERWOMAN!  Determined to make my dreams come true!

Enjoy today June 13, 2011- it's the only one you will ever get!  

*Wish me love!*

6/11/11 Kind of Sucked! LOL

Let me just go ahead and apologize for the title..  I couldn't think of a better word.

Let me explain.  I  have been having dreams about 6/11/11 for months.  My dream is the same and something really amazing happens to me..  but just the normal amazing things happened to me on 6/11/11.  I woke up!  Enjoyed my beautiful children!  Ate, danced, hugged, you know all of the normal stuff happened, but not that unusually amazing thing that I was looking for.  

Am I disappointed? Yeah I can't lie.  I think every girl dreams of a fairy tale, but will I survive?  Of course, I always have.  

As far as "D" (decision) Day..  I made up my mind.  First of all, I won Ms. Charlotte's challenge! I am not too sure that I gained a new habit or broke an old one, but I said my "mantra" everyday for 21 days!  Boo Yaaa!  I told you I would do it!  

Shelle's challenge though..  um no comment.  I Just have what I want in my head, and I don't know what it will take to get it out of there.   I act with my heart.  AND for some strange reason my heart is leading me one way that seems to cause me a ton of pain, but I am just not ready to give up yet.  I know I am crazy.  AND I may very well be wrong, but I want to see for myself. 

 My dad came to pick up my kids today and he was talking to me about a friend of mine.  He made the comment that my friend was a good person and that it was good to be driven, but that sometimes we get so focused on being driven that we forget why we are driving in the first place.  What happens when you get to your destination but forget why you went?  You tend to leave folks behind.  I guess  I feel like I am being left behind.  

Some dreams do come true... this one however didn't.  Yeah it does suck because it was a really great dream!  Maybe my trip to the Boardwalk will never happen..  maybe the lights will never be so bright at night..  and maybe my life will not change because of a short conversation, BUT I am going to continue to dream!  I continue to be more blessed than I could have ever asked!  I am still happy and loved!  AND I am still thankful for all that God has done for me!  

Enjoy today 6/12/11 (the day after) it's the only one you will ever get!  *Wish me LOVE! because I certainly wish it for you!*

Comfortable in my dysfunction….

Wow! Am I really? I read this today and I have to admit, it stuck in my head. I don’t want to be dysfunctional and I certainly don’t want to find comfort in it!

Let me make a few things clear.. My life is NOT bad! I have 3 amazing kids. We live in a nice house with a nice back yard and plenty of food in the pantry. We live just above pay check to pay check, but I have a good steady job and we make it alright.

Why then did this quote get to me? Not because of my outside world, but because of my inside world: the world that very few people have had the chance to enter into. My kids know I am crazy, but they love me anyway. They have to; I feed them, clothe them, and give them a house to live in. (I do believe they would love me even if I didn’t though- like I said they are pretty amazing kids!) Other than that, not too many people out there know the real me. Which brings me to why the quote got to me-> Does not letting people know really know me make me dysfunctional?
Hmmmmm? I have to tell you in my mixed up world not letting people get to know me makes me smart. It keeps me from getting hurt and it makes me not have to deal with drama. BUT the down side of it is it closes me off from people who may actually care about me.
Not too sure where this one is going so I am going to stop writing now. Crazy thing is it’s taken me 3 days to write this much. I am thinking that this must have some type of meaning to me or it wouldn’t be in my head so much. Maybe I will figure it out later- for now value today May 17, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get!

WOW!

WOW! The past few weeks have been CraZy! People have come into my life, and they have gone out of my life. BUT the ones who truly love me are still hanging around. I moved into my new house… (I absolutely LOVE it by the way!) It’s funny how a change in environment can change your whole perception. My 7-year old has even been coming to me to brush her hair. Normally, I have to chase her around the house and hold her down. LOL It’s been a long sometimes hard road, but we have finally found our niche.


The kids are doing well in school and making friends. Tony’s doing well in Martial Arts and is about to earn his first belt ( I can’t remember what color.) Cydney is running track and has earned 6 medals in the past 2 meets. Shelby is playing softball. She should have a great year because she has a pretty awesome coach! ;)

No matter what has happened in my life the one thing I have never doubted was that God was with me all the way! He’s been there even during the times I haven’t; let that comment marinate for a minute.

“For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways.”
Psalm 91:11 (NIV)

Enjoy today, March 22, 2011- I know I am! It’s the only one I will ever get!

(Jeremiah 29:13) What's that all about?

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13)


When I read this in my Bible I had to sit back a minute and just meditate on it. I was very taken back by it. I guess because I have lived the better part of my life “searching” for something. I never knew what I was searching for; I just knew that something was missing. It wasn’t until recently that I figured out what the something was.. God!

Now I have always known God. AND I have always loved God. AND I have always tried to make choices that would be pleasing to God. BUT I wasn’t seeking Him with all of my heart. It may be easy for some people and that’s great, but for me it’s difficult at times.

Isn’t it kind of like this for everything though? I mean if something is important to you, you go after it, but you never fully reach your full potential unless you go after it with all of your heart.

I have a feeling I will be writing on this subject again.

On another note:

I had my students come up with quotes. They could be about anything they felt helped them describe a positive emotion. Here are a few of the quotes that they came up with. I don’t have who said them, because this wasn’t that kind of assignment and it’s not that kind of class. They were just told to look for quotes that reach out and grab them.

“Time heals what reason cannot”

“In the absence of love, there is nothing worth fighting for”

“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”

“Absence sharpens love, presence strengthens it”

“The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference”

“You don't love a woman because she is beautiful; she is beautiful because you love her”

“You call it madness, but I call it love”

Now the majority of my class is 15-16 year old girls. Which may seem obvious by their choice of quotes, but the guys put in on this too. What I find interesting was that they were all in agreement that when you are talking about love/emotions things seem super confusing. My favorite comment was.. “If time heals and makes you forget how can absence make the heart grow fonder?” That is a very valid question. I think it’s safe to say that the amount of absence is relevant for both quotes.

All of what I blog about comes from my day to day life. What happens to me in my own little world. What is funny is that a lot of what I blog comes from the fact that I have the same type of questions about life that 15-16 year olds have. I have more experience than they do, but I certainly don’t have all of the answers.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. (Jeremiah 29:13) 

More coming on this one...

Hmmmm...

God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you...  my daughter and I have been singing that song together.  I like it.  OK truth is I love it!  It's a hopeful song.  

If you don't know it the song by heart like we do.. here are some of the lyrics.

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Of course you know me..  it got me to thinking.  How many times do we see signs pointing us where we need to go and we ignore them?  Leads to some long days and sleepless nights.  We let the craziness of our everyday life get in the way..  or worse we let our past get in the way of our future.

 What I like about this song is what I like in movies, it has a happy ending!  No candy coating the situation, the song talks about having many broken hearts before finding what was true.  I talked to my friend Kortney today about having to have the downs in life to appreciate the ups.  I agree with that!  True happiness comes with a price tag that can only be paid through experience.   Even my 15 year old daughter gets it..  well in her own silly way.  She reminded me long ago that "you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince."  LOL 

Snow days are getting a little out of hand- we have the rest of the week off..  ugh this is cutting into my summer!  I feel loved today, February 2, 2011, and I am enjoying it because you guessed it, it's the only one I will ever get!

Go to the mattresses…

If you are familiar with the movie The Godfather , you have probably heard the phrase “go to the mattresses”. It simply means to prepare for battle. In times of war, Italian families would vacate their homes and rent apartments in safer areas. In order to protect themselves they would hire soldiers to sleep on mattresses on the floor.

What battles are you preparing for?

We are all fighting some type of battle. Some people struggle with weight, others with depression, and others loneliness.. Some people struggle with all three and then some. The list is endless. It does seem hopeless, but I can’t help but believe that no matter what the struggle there is a bigger picture, a way to the surface for a drowning soul.

I went to the store tonight. Didn’t really have anything to get; just needed to get out of the house. It’s a lonely night and with out my 3 kids, this house seems very empty. When I was checking out, a beautiful woman probably in her 50’s began talking to me while she was ringing up and bagging my groceries. Most of what was said was just normal chit chat.. It wasn’t until I picked up the last bag that she said something that caught my attention. She said, “You have to know that there’s a greater picture. You just have to wait it out child. You just have to wait it out.” Now I so wanted to ask her what it was she was referring to, but she had already begun scanning the people’s things that were in line behind me. What did she mean? I didn’t say anything to her that would lead her to make that statement. I am still wondering, I can’t lie.

It definitely got me thinking. One of the biggest battles I fight is with patience. I see what I want and I go after it, whether I am ready for what ever it is or not. Deep down I know that God is in control, I know that He will never give me more than I can handle. Shoot, that is easy to deal with. BUT I also know that God will never give me anything that I am not ready to have. THAT’s the hard part! I know exactly what I want! I can see it in front of me just out of my reach, and I can’t have it. That’s my battle, accepting that I have to wait. Well.. I hear that the first step to recovery it admitting you have a problem. Now here’s the question: How do I prepare and fight  his battle?

Instead of placing a horse head in my bed, God placed a beautifully, knowledgeable, 50- something woman in front of me. Believe me I am grateful! I don’t think I could have dealt with waking up to a horse head. One day things will all fall into place- I BELIEVE that with all my heart! Just ready for “waiting for great things” not to be such a battle.  I am just so so ready! UGH!

January 22, 2011 is almost over.. Go on and enjoy it, because it’s the only one you will ever get! Good night and sleep well so that you will wake up ready to "go to the mattresses!"