Change is coming...

Ever just known that change is coming even though you have no idea what it is?  That's how I feel right now! It's frustrating having to wait. ..  can't lie, but what are you going to do?  I have had an "unsettled" feeling for quite some time now.  Not sad, not depressed, not even disappointed, just unsettled.  I realized that I have been searching for answers in the wrong places.  I appreciate what my friends and family do for me!  Love that they are there for me any time I need them, but this unsettled feeling will only go away if I  look inside for answers.

Prayer is a powerful thing... if you use it!  I pray daily and love my time with God, but my prayers have been lacking the faith to back them up.  You hear you are not worthy enough and you see people's actions that remind you  of things from your past, if you aren't careful you start to believe it that you will never be good enough.

I asked a friend of mine this question today..  "At what point do you stop putting everyoneelses' happy in front of your happy; trying to make up for past mistakes?"  He wasn't sure of an answer.  At first neither was I, but then it hit me.  YOU CAN NEVER MAKE UP FOR YOUR PAST MISTAKES!  You can only ask for forgiveness and let God help you move forward!  I am tired to trying to make something right that went wrong long ago.  I am giving up my guilt right now!   It's in the past and I have lived for a very long time trying to make things right!

It's time to let it go!  Now I know I will struggle, because this is something that I have held on to for a good part of my life..  it's become habit and habits are hard to break, but I know I am ready..  I want to see what God has in store for me and I am tired of blocking my blessings.  Fact is, it's just plain wearing me out.

I appreciate today..  March 4, 2012.  It's the only one I will ever get!

Wish me LOVE because I certainly wish it for you!
"B"

I met someone new today...

I met someone new today.

She is a sweet person who would do just about anything for anyone, but she's been lost for a while.  Her heart's been hurting and she's been letting the world around her tell her who she has been and who she will be.  She'd made a habit of apologizing for who she was and had blamed herself for every bad circumstance that had come her way.  She had been bullied and beat down and made to think that she wasn't worthy of being treated like a Princess.  She had spent years closing doors and shutting people out.  Holding people at arms length not allowing them to know who she really is had become her shelter.  She had made an art of finding ways to make sure a relationship ended right before she had the chance to know what real love is, because deep down she felt there was no such thing.  Her guard was always up.  Her walls had been meticulously built to ensure that there were windows only a select few could make it through.  She always had a smile on her face, but her heart remained broken and fragile. 

She didn't see that she did deserve to be treated like a Princess if for no other reason than that she was a child of The King!  Her worth was more than all the gold in the world and she couldn't accept that.  When love would come her way, she would run.  When she would stumble, she never looked around for help because she always felt that she had to find her way back on her own.   Even though God had always been there to protect her and love her, she never allowed herself to feel his loving arms around her.  She continued to live every day feeling as if she had to pay for sins from long ago.   She tried to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of the world, but she just never could reach that level.

One day-  she sat alone, still and quiet, and allowed God to speak to her.  He told her to stop beating herself up for her past mistakes and let it all go.  He reminded her that there is a season for everything and now is the time to let go of her season of pain and sadness.  That season has made her stronger, but now it was time to drop that weight so that she could welcome the new things He has waiting for her!  He told her that she would still have bumps in the road, but assured her that she was strong enough because He would always be right there with her! 

I have made my mistakes.  I am not my mistakes.  I am ready to let them go and move forward!  I am just sad that hanging on to my past may have caused me to lose someone who belongs in my future. 

"Take me to that place Lord., to that secret place where I can be with you and you can make me like you.  Wrap me in your arms!" 

Help me find where I belong....

I met someone new today...  her name is Rebekah Lynn and she's ready to be done with her past and focus on her future!

Love today and have Faith that God will take care of your tomorrows--

Guilt...

Why do we feel guilty? OK even better question...  Why do we feel guilt about things that we have nothing to feel guilty about?  I am all about taking ownership in things, but my problem is that I take ownership in everything.  I allow myself to feel bad about coulda, woulda, shoulda, stuff.  I will write more later..  just wanted to start this one so that I could come back to it. 

That's what's on my mind today 4/5/11 (My Dad's Birthday!!!!)