Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Comfortable in my dysfunction….

Wow! Am I really? I read this today and I have to admit, it stuck in my head. I don’t want to be dysfunctional and I certainly don’t want to find comfort in it!

Let me make a few things clear.. My life is NOT bad! I have 3 amazing kids. We live in a nice house with a nice back yard and plenty of food in the pantry. We live just above pay check to pay check, but I have a good steady job and we make it alright.

Why then did this quote get to me? Not because of my outside world, but because of my inside world: the world that very few people have had the chance to enter into. My kids know I am crazy, but they love me anyway. They have to; I feed them, clothe them, and give them a house to live in. (I do believe they would love me even if I didn’t though- like I said they are pretty amazing kids!) Other than that, not too many people out there know the real me. Which brings me to why the quote got to me-> Does not letting people know really know me make me dysfunctional?
Hmmmmm? I have to tell you in my mixed up world not letting people get to know me makes me smart. It keeps me from getting hurt and it makes me not have to deal with drama. BUT the down side of it is it closes me off from people who may actually care about me.
Not too sure where this one is going so I am going to stop writing now. Crazy thing is it’s taken me 3 days to write this much. I am thinking that this must have some type of meaning to me or it wouldn’t be in my head so much. Maybe I will figure it out later- for now value today May 17, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get!

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