This is a hard one for me.
First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.
The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.
OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.
Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.
I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”? I broke my "one tear rule". :.(
Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.
Look at this as a new beginning. Prayers that you continue to be blessed. Open your eyes- the One that loves you is all around.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to balance what we know to be true in our heads and what our hearts tell us to do. It sounds like you are standing on truth, seeing an emotional day for what it is, and moving ahead with your life wisely. May the Lord bless you today!
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