It’s Monday.. It’s not a bad day-- It’s just a Monday. Ever wonder if you were meant for more? Please tell me that I am not the only one. I have been thinking a lot lately about what it is I want in life. I am pretty sure it’s probably close to what everyone else wants in life… Family, A job I enjoy, home, stability, happiness, love.. And truth is I have that.
Last Sunday the preacher spoke about the importance of marriage. My oldest daughter looked at me several times while we were in the service. It was obvious she had something on her mind. So I wasn’t surprised when she asked me if I was “OK” after church. I was fine of course, but she was worried that what the preacher said would make me feel bad.
Let me clarify.. she thought that I would feel bad not because she thinks I was wrong for being divorced, but because he talked so much about how people are born with a desire to be with someone. She doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to explain to her that I am going to be fine no matter what. That no matter what my situation ends up being, I will never actually be alone. BUT she is 15 sooo…
Life is so contradictory! We crave companionship, but are supposed to be patient. We are supposed to be patient, but play an active role in achieving our goals. We are allowed to love, but forced to deal with free will. Am I the only one who just doesn’t get it?
Be content today, February 28, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Thursday, February 24, 2011
Balance…
Something was just brought to my attention. It’s one of those things that I have had an opinion about for a very long time, but all it too was one simple conversation to alter my way of thinking. Crazy huh?
I have always believed that balance in life meant that you had to have good things and bad things in your life. Let me try and explain. If your family was in good health, your finances are going well, and you enjoyed your profession, your personal life would not be good. I feel like I am as clear as mud on this one. Basically I have pretty much always felt that no one could really have it all.
My family amazes me on a daily basis. I have the most fabulous kids on the planet! I have great friends. I have a job I enjoy. AND I am buying a new house! All wonderful things… I am content in those areas of my life. Because I am so happy with those things, I have a tendency to neglect my personal life. I settle for what ever is given to me because I have always felt that if I prayed for and hoped for someone to come in my life and be there for me that I would seem selfish and un appreciative of the Blessings that are already present. I have always felt guilty for wanting more.
No one has ever questioned my way of thinking. This is partly because I am not all that open to talking about things like that, and partly because me thinking that way is beneficial to others in a lot of ways. If I believe that it’s selfish to want to be treated well then people who choose to take advantage of that will. Truth is people have been doing just that for a very long time. I think it’s about time for a change.
Sometimes change is a bad thing. This time change is a good thing!
That’s all I have on this one. I may write more later, but for now enjoy today February 24, 2011! I am.
I have always believed that balance in life meant that you had to have good things and bad things in your life. Let me try and explain. If your family was in good health, your finances are going well, and you enjoyed your profession, your personal life would not be good. I feel like I am as clear as mud on this one. Basically I have pretty much always felt that no one could really have it all.
My family amazes me on a daily basis. I have the most fabulous kids on the planet! I have great friends. I have a job I enjoy. AND I am buying a new house! All wonderful things… I am content in those areas of my life. Because I am so happy with those things, I have a tendency to neglect my personal life. I settle for what ever is given to me because I have always felt that if I prayed for and hoped for someone to come in my life and be there for me that I would seem selfish and un appreciative of the Blessings that are already present. I have always felt guilty for wanting more.
No one has ever questioned my way of thinking. This is partly because I am not all that open to talking about things like that, and partly because me thinking that way is beneficial to others in a lot of ways. If I believe that it’s selfish to want to be treated well then people who choose to take advantage of that will. Truth is people have been doing just that for a very long time. I think it’s about time for a change.
Sometimes change is a bad thing. This time change is a good thing!
That’s all I have on this one. I may write more later, but for now enjoy today February 24, 2011! I am.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
I am going to do this... do you want to join me?
Write down whatever has been on your mental running list of why you’ve mistakenly thought you’re disqualified from God’s unconditional love. Then pray, thanking Jesus for dying for you and nailing it on the cross once and for all. Then tear up or burn the list.
The above suggestion was in a devotion that I read and then re-read. Funny how that happens. We read something one time and then see it again a few days later and it takes on a whole new meaning. Anyway, I am going to do this. I am giong to put a lot of time and effort into making a sincere list and then I am going to make an even stronger effort to LET IT GO!
Peace and Love for you today! :) May write more later... we shall see.
The above suggestion was in a devotion that I read and then re-read. Funny how that happens. We read something one time and then see it again a few days later and it takes on a whole new meaning. Anyway, I am going to do this. I am giong to put a lot of time and effort into making a sincere list and then I am going to make an even stronger effort to LET IT GO!
Peace and Love for you today! :) May write more later... we shall see.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Never doubt the power of FAITH…
It's been an interesting weekend. Our dog, Kiwi, got hit by a car. She was banged up pretty bad and had to be taken to the vet. What made it worse was that my kids saw her get hit. She had to have her leg sewn up and she has fractures in her hip. We prayed a lot!
Kiwi had to stay at the vet Sunday night and both of my daughters came in and told me that they dreamed that Kiwi came home with a lime green bandage on her leg… they had faith that she would be ok.
When things that don’t seem to be so positive in our lives happen, God allows other things to come along to help us keep our positive attitude and maybe even change our perspective. In my house, we are firm believers in “everything happens for a reason”. God is not a mean or vengeful God. He wants us to live in peace.
My daughters' faith that God would heal Kiwi gave them the peace they needed to deal with their sadness. It’s funny how God always knows just when to send comfort your way. I am thankful for my peace and for the little blessings that God sends me just exactly when I need them. Just this weekend I recieved encouragement from an old friend right when I needed it. :)
Kiwi came home from the vet yesterday with a lime green bandage on her leg! FAITH it’s some powerful stuff! Be encouraged today, February, 22, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get. !!Peace and Happiness!!
Kiwi had to stay at the vet Sunday night and both of my daughters came in and told me that they dreamed that Kiwi came home with a lime green bandage on her leg… they had faith that she would be ok.
When things that don’t seem to be so positive in our lives happen, God allows other things to come along to help us keep our positive attitude and maybe even change our perspective. In my house, we are firm believers in “everything happens for a reason”. God is not a mean or vengeful God. He wants us to live in peace.
My daughters' faith that God would heal Kiwi gave them the peace they needed to deal with their sadness. It’s funny how God always knows just when to send comfort your way. I am thankful for my peace and for the little blessings that God sends me just exactly when I need them. Just this weekend I recieved encouragement from an old friend right when I needed it. :)
Kiwi came home from the vet yesterday with a lime green bandage on her leg! FAITH it’s some powerful stuff! Be encouraged today, February, 22, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get. !!Peace and Happiness!!
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Quick updates on my goals…
Goal 1- Relationships: In some areas I am doing GREAT! I have actually allowed some people to get to know me better. I have talked to a couple of people that I don’t know. I only had one major “fail” in this area, but all-in-all, I still have a TON of work to do! UGH! Week 1 goal 1 -> Fail
Goal 2- Finances: Doing fine in this area. I haven’t over spent. Put money in savings. AND caught a HUGE SALE with Kortney for some work clothes.. (that are SUPER CUTE!! Can’t wait to wear them some where besides work!!) Week 1 goal 2 -> SAME
Goal 3- Physical: Yeah I am actually kicking butt and takin’ names on this one! Been watching what I eat all week.. drinking tons of water.. eating my mufas.. and working out everyday! OK there was Monday—when I burned dinner and had to eat left over pizza, but I only ate 2 pieces and I did work out a little extra that night to make up for it.. so let’s label week one for goal 3 SUCCESS!!!
I am still encouraged! Down days are normal.. I am putting it in my head right now though that I will not allow myself the same mistakes no matter what the situation. I got this!! ;)
I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
Enjoy today—February 17, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Goal 2- Finances: Doing fine in this area. I haven’t over spent. Put money in savings. AND caught a HUGE SALE with Kortney for some work clothes.. (that are SUPER CUTE!! Can’t wait to wear them some where besides work!!) Week 1 goal 2 -> SAME
Goal 3- Physical: Yeah I am actually kicking butt and takin’ names on this one! Been watching what I eat all week.. drinking tons of water.. eating my mufas.. and working out everyday! OK there was Monday—when I burned dinner and had to eat left over pizza, but I only ate 2 pieces and I did work out a little extra that night to make up for it.. so let’s label week one for goal 3 SUCCESS!!!
I am still encouraged! Down days are normal.. I am putting it in my head right now though that I will not allow myself the same mistakes no matter what the situation. I got this!! ;)
I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
Enjoy today—February 17, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I know it’s not right for me but…..
This is a hard one for me.
First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.
The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.
OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.
Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.
I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”? I broke my "one tear rule". :.(
Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.
First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.
The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.
OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.
Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.
I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”? I broke my "one tear rule". :.(
Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Today could have gone way way better....
Ever have one of those days that seem to start out pretty good, but as time passes, you realize that going to bed a few hours early may be the only thing that saves you from shedding some tears? Yeah, it's no secret, I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day, I don't want to go into, why... just not a big fan. BUT that't not why this day could have been better.. well not the only reason. Burning dinnner, my entire house (including my clothes) smelling like smoke, kids fighting, I could go on for a while on this one.. but I won't.
Just a down day... guess everyone has them. I am no exception to the rule. So today was mine. I didn't use my one tear rule-- I am saving that for later. Today wasn't even close to bad enough to cry. Just frustrating that's all.
Today could have gone way better, but it could have gone way worse too!! Dwellng on my BLESSINGS right now! Thank God for the people who never forget to remember me! I love them!!!
Just a down day... guess everyone has them. I am no exception to the rule. So today was mine. I didn't use my one tear rule-- I am saving that for later. Today wasn't even close to bad enough to cry. Just frustrating that's all.
Today could have gone way better, but it could have gone way worse too!! Dwellng on my BLESSINGS right now! Thank God for the people who never forget to remember me! I love them!!!
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Haven't written in a few days..
Don't worry nothing's wrong, I've just been lazy with the whole blog thing the past few days. The last time I posted it was about not getting what you want. I didn't go into what was in my head, but I knew what I was talking about. :) Today, of course I don't feel the same as I did the last time I posted. That's one of those weird things ab out being human... our emotions fluctuate from day to day.. sometimes minute to minute. Things that seems so pressing, so important one minute don't seem so important the next.
I have a lot of things I want. AND the truth of the matter is God has blessed me with most of what I have asked for and absolutely everything that I need. When I want more, I actually feel bad. Like I am not appreciative of what I already have. I am so appreciative I promise... sometimes I feel bad asking for more.
God knows what's on my mind before I even say it... and he is reminded of it when I pray. What I am going to ask of myself is to put more effort into getting what I want. There are 3 areas I would like to improve.. I am not going to go into details, but here's the general idea. 1) Relationships- with God, family, friends, and yes even the romantic kind. I want to put more of me into my relationships. Of course this is a hard one because you can't control what other people do. So you never know what reaction you will get. I am just going to work on my side of this and hope that the reactions I get from my changing are favorable. 2) Financial- This is actually probably the easiest one. Not that I am rich, but just that the past few years have taught me to be super frugal. Now though it's time to start taking some risks to continue to move forward. 3) Physically- This is all me! Self-control ugh! I am going to have to depend on me to make good choices. YUK! I stink at this one!
What I am going to do is challenge myself to 30 days of improvement in each of these areas. I am writing my own personal goals (not online as they are personal) and seeing where I am by March 11, 2011. Don't worry I will write about them as I go. Now I am asking that you help me by doing the most powerful thing you can do.. pray!
You can't always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you want later than you thought you should have. Sometimes you never get what you want. Sometimes you have to work harder for what you want. Sometimes what you want is just handed to you... BUT always you get what you need just when you need it!
I have a lot of things I want. AND the truth of the matter is God has blessed me with most of what I have asked for and absolutely everything that I need. When I want more, I actually feel bad. Like I am not appreciative of what I already have. I am so appreciative I promise... sometimes I feel bad asking for more.
God knows what's on my mind before I even say it... and he is reminded of it when I pray. What I am going to ask of myself is to put more effort into getting what I want. There are 3 areas I would like to improve.. I am not going to go into details, but here's the general idea. 1) Relationships- with God, family, friends, and yes even the romantic kind. I want to put more of me into my relationships. Of course this is a hard one because you can't control what other people do. So you never know what reaction you will get. I am just going to work on my side of this and hope that the reactions I get from my changing are favorable. 2) Financial- This is actually probably the easiest one. Not that I am rich, but just that the past few years have taught me to be super frugal. Now though it's time to start taking some risks to continue to move forward. 3) Physically- This is all me! Self-control ugh! I am going to have to depend on me to make good choices. YUK! I stink at this one!
What I am going to do is challenge myself to 30 days of improvement in each of these areas. I am writing my own personal goals (not online as they are personal) and seeing where I am by March 11, 2011. Don't worry I will write about them as I go. Now I am asking that you help me by doing the most powerful thing you can do.. pray!
You can't always get what you want. Sometimes you get what you want later than you thought you should have. Sometimes you never get what you want. Sometimes you have to work harder for what you want. Sometimes what you want is just handed to you... BUT always you get what you need just when you need it!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
You can't always get what you want...
Boy is that true! Another snow day- means another day in the house- means tons of time to think- means tons of time to write. Before I get too far into this one, let me just say that I started cleaning my closet yesterday (my real closet that's not a figure of speech) and I got all of our laundry done. Of course there is more laundry already, but I still felt I accomplished something. :)
The trouble with being cooped up is it gives you way too much time to think. I already think way too much about things so you can imagine how crazy I'm going after being inside for a while.
Everyday I try to read a devotional. Usually I read the Proverbs31.com devotional right after I get to work. It really is my favorite and you can find a link to it at the bottom of my page. Some days I read it and I'm like.. "Oh that was nice." Other days, like today I read it and I am like..."Oh wow, I get it!" I have copied and pasted part of it below. (It's the bold/italicised part.) This particular entry was written by Marybeth Whalen.
February 3, 2011 Stay In the Shade
Marybeth Whalen
“There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son,
all the way you went until you reached this place.”
Deuteronomy 1:31 (NIV)
Last summer I ran almost every day, often in the hottest part of the day. As I ran I would anticipate the moments when I would run under the shade trees, receiving cool relief for a few moments from the unrelenting summer sun.
One day as I was running under the shade trees, I said to the Lord (I talked to God a lot as I ran), “Why can’t I just stay in the shade all the time?” To me this made perfect sense. I could run under the tree cover every day, always comfortable, always taken care of. Wouldn’t a loving Father want that for me, I reasoned?
His answer—as it often does—hit me right between the eyes. Well, that makes sense now, but how are you going to feel about that shade when it turns cold? I had to smile at His point. Staying in the shade makes sense sometimes, but other times it’s the last thing we need.
..........
I will be writing more on this later today.. I am just at a loss for words right now. Yes I'll admit it, I am thinking way too much and what's in my head is just not ready to be written down yet. Look for an update later this afternoon.. Until then, enjoy today February 3, 2011. Snowed in or not, it's the only one you will ever get.
The trouble with being cooped up is it gives you way too much time to think. I already think way too much about things so you can imagine how crazy I'm going after being inside for a while.
Everyday I try to read a devotional. Usually I read the Proverbs31.com devotional right after I get to work. It really is my favorite and you can find a link to it at the bottom of my page. Some days I read it and I'm like.. "Oh that was nice." Other days, like today I read it and I am like..."Oh wow, I get it!" I have copied and pasted part of it below. (It's the bold/italicised part.) This particular entry was written by Marybeth Whalen.
February 3, 2011 Stay In the Shade
Marybeth Whalen
“There you saw how the Lord your God carried you, as a father carries his son,
all the way you went until you reached this place.”
Deuteronomy 1:31 (NIV)
Last summer I ran almost every day, often in the hottest part of the day. As I ran I would anticipate the moments when I would run under the shade trees, receiving cool relief for a few moments from the unrelenting summer sun.
One day as I was running under the shade trees, I said to the Lord (I talked to God a lot as I ran), “Why can’t I just stay in the shade all the time?” To me this made perfect sense. I could run under the tree cover every day, always comfortable, always taken care of. Wouldn’t a loving Father want that for me, I reasoned?
His answer—as it often does—hit me right between the eyes. Well, that makes sense now, but how are you going to feel about that shade when it turns cold? I had to smile at His point. Staying in the shade makes sense sometimes, but other times it’s the last thing we need.
..........
I will be writing more on this later today.. I am just at a loss for words right now. Yes I'll admit it, I am thinking way too much and what's in my head is just not ready to be written down yet. Look for an update later this afternoon.. Until then, enjoy today February 3, 2011. Snowed in or not, it's the only one you will ever get.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Hmmmm...
God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you... my daughter and I have been singing that song together. I like it. OK truth is I love it! It's a hopeful song.
If you don't know it the song by heart like we do.. here are some of the lyrics.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Of course you know me.. it got me to thinking. How many times do we see signs pointing us where we need to go and we ignore them? Leads to some long days and sleepless nights. We let the craziness of our everyday life get in the way.. or worse we let our past get in the way of our future.
What I like about this song is what I like in movies, it has a happy ending! No candy coating the situation, the song talks about having many broken hearts before finding what was true. I talked to my friend Kortney today about having to have the downs in life to appreciate the ups. I agree with that! True happiness comes with a price tag that can only be paid through experience. Even my 15 year old daughter gets it.. well in her own silly way. She reminded me long ago that "you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince." LOL
Snow days are getting a little out of hand- we have the rest of the week off.. ugh this is cutting into my summer! I feel loved today, February 2, 2011, and I am enjoying it because you guessed it, it's the only one I will ever get!
If you don't know it the song by heart like we do.. here are some of the lyrics.
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you
Of course you know me.. it got me to thinking. How many times do we see signs pointing us where we need to go and we ignore them? Leads to some long days and sleepless nights. We let the craziness of our everyday life get in the way.. or worse we let our past get in the way of our future.
What I like about this song is what I like in movies, it has a happy ending! No candy coating the situation, the song talks about having many broken hearts before finding what was true. I talked to my friend Kortney today about having to have the downs in life to appreciate the ups. I agree with that! True happiness comes with a price tag that can only be paid through experience. Even my 15 year old daughter gets it.. well in her own silly way. She reminded me long ago that "you gotta kiss a lot of toads to find your prince." LOL
Snow days are getting a little out of hand- we have the rest of the week off.. ugh this is cutting into my summer! I feel loved today, February 2, 2011, and I am enjoying it because you guessed it, it's the only one I will ever get!
My Ah Ha Moment... Thanks Oprah (AND Shellee)
Ok honestly I don't really watch Oprah very much at all, but Nana does and she fills me in on the points she sees as relevant to me....
Today is another snow day. While the kids are excited about it, I would rather be in school and get out for my summer! I love warmer weather. BUT I suppose it has given me some time to get some things done. I could certainly clean house today... more likely I will play, but I could clean house if I wanted to! :)
Now what was it I wanted to write about today? Oh yeah my "ah ha moment". I have them daily, but this one hit me just last night after a talk with my friend Shellee. Are you ready? This one is BIG!
Everything is NOT always my fault!
If I have questions about something and I ask the wrong way, that's because I am human. If I my feelings get hurt and I want whoever to make things right.. that's because I am human. It's not because of my past or any one in my past. Of course I have issues; everyone has issues, but my issues are no worse (or better) than anyone elses. As a a matter of fact, my biggest issue is being able to let people get close to me because I am scared to let my guard down. THAT IS MY BIGGEST ISSUE! Judge me if you want.. it's ok. I have been judged before, but if you actually take the time to get to know me, you will see that I have a ton of other amazing qualities that out weigh that "issue".
I'd like to take a minute to just go over the things that I do NOT have issues with. OK here goes..
I do not have an issue with loyalty. Once you are in, you are in!
I do not have an issue with commitment. (Actually if you look at my background.. I have been a little too committed at times.)
I do not have an issue with placing blame on others. (I usually place it on myself)
I do not have an issue with admitting I was wrong and apologizing. (I have even apologized to my children when I felt I had hurt them or done wrong by them.)
I do not have an issue with judging people. (I even try to walk away from gossip.)
I do not have an issue with always having to be "right".
I do not have an issue with always being negative.
Wow, I could go on for a while here. I'm thinking my "issues" don't seem quite so abnormal or large anymore. I am not an easy shell to crack, but the people who have taken the time to truly know me have stuck with me for a very long time. That's got to say something about me. If I was wrong, I will admit it and apologize, but not everything is my fault. Thankfully, I am not naive enough to buy into that theory.
Today is February 2, 2011. (Another snow day) Enjoy it! It's the only one you will ever get! For me I see sledding, snow angels, snowball fights, and a snowman in my future! :)
Today is another snow day. While the kids are excited about it, I would rather be in school and get out for my summer! I love warmer weather. BUT I suppose it has given me some time to get some things done. I could certainly clean house today... more likely I will play, but I could clean house if I wanted to! :)
Now what was it I wanted to write about today? Oh yeah my "ah ha moment". I have them daily, but this one hit me just last night after a talk with my friend Shellee. Are you ready? This one is BIG!
Everything is NOT always my fault!
If I have questions about something and I ask the wrong way, that's because I am human. If I my feelings get hurt and I want whoever to make things right.. that's because I am human. It's not because of my past or any one in my past. Of course I have issues; everyone has issues, but my issues are no worse (or better) than anyone elses. As a a matter of fact, my biggest issue is being able to let people get close to me because I am scared to let my guard down. THAT IS MY BIGGEST ISSUE! Judge me if you want.. it's ok. I have been judged before, but if you actually take the time to get to know me, you will see that I have a ton of other amazing qualities that out weigh that "issue".
I'd like to take a minute to just go over the things that I do NOT have issues with. OK here goes..
I do not have an issue with loyalty. Once you are in, you are in!
I do not have an issue with commitment. (Actually if you look at my background.. I have been a little too committed at times.)
I do not have an issue with placing blame on others. (I usually place it on myself)
I do not have an issue with admitting I was wrong and apologizing. (I have even apologized to my children when I felt I had hurt them or done wrong by them.)
I do not have an issue with judging people. (I even try to walk away from gossip.)
I do not have an issue with always having to be "right".
I do not have an issue with always being negative.
Wow, I could go on for a while here. I'm thinking my "issues" don't seem quite so abnormal or large anymore. I am not an easy shell to crack, but the people who have taken the time to truly know me have stuck with me for a very long time. That's got to say something about me. If I was wrong, I will admit it and apologize, but not everything is my fault. Thankfully, I am not naive enough to buy into that theory.
Today is February 2, 2011. (Another snow day) Enjoy it! It's the only one you will ever get! For me I see sledding, snow angels, snowball fights, and a snowman in my future! :)
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Trust
Trust.. hard to earn, easy to lose! You've heard all the sayings about how trust takes years to build but only minutes to tear down. Well.. That's true. AND of course it's true for me too! A while back, I was hurt... and by hurt I meant HURT BAD! Trouble with getting "hurt bad" and losing trust in someone is that you have a tendency to live your life with the gloves on and your guard up.
Don't feel like writing anymore.. will continue this later :(
Don't feel like writing anymore.. will continue this later :(
Priorities.. What are yours?
Priorities- Do you know what yours are? I am 100% sure of what my priorities are! BUT sometimes I let stuff get in the way of what I am sure of. Please tell me I am not the only one.
God
Family
Work
Then of course those are split up into categories.. like family -> kids first and then everyone else. My close friends are in this category too.
The one priority that I mess up with the most is God. So so many times I put everything else in front of Him even though I know better. But there is another priority that I seem to put low on my list on a regular basis, ME! I have all of these things that I know I want for myself.. you know kind of a list of goals or standards I have set for me and how I want people to treat me. BUT more often than not I let myself down and I let others treat me just any old way.
That's why I am so thankful for the people who take the time to get to know me and treat me with respect. The ones who know my flaws and don't take advantage of me. Now don't go thinkin' I'm weak, because I'm not, but I do have flaws. I know I am kind of rambling on this one.. not sure where I am going with it really, just writing to write I guess. I would just like to be someones priorty one of these days.
A fresh start.. a new month.. today is February 1, 2011. Make living it to the fullest a priority because it's the only one you will every get!
God
Family
Work
Then of course those are split up into categories.. like family -> kids first and then everyone else. My close friends are in this category too.
The one priority that I mess up with the most is God. So so many times I put everything else in front of Him even though I know better. But there is another priority that I seem to put low on my list on a regular basis, ME! I have all of these things that I know I want for myself.. you know kind of a list of goals or standards I have set for me and how I want people to treat me. BUT more often than not I let myself down and I let others treat me just any old way.
That's why I am so thankful for the people who take the time to get to know me and treat me with respect. The ones who know my flaws and don't take advantage of me. Now don't go thinkin' I'm weak, because I'm not, but I do have flaws. I know I am kind of rambling on this one.. not sure where I am going with it really, just writing to write I guess. I would just like to be someones priorty one of these days.
A fresh start.. a new month.. today is February 1, 2011. Make living it to the fullest a priority because it's the only one you will every get!
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