My Testimony...

tes-ti-mo-ny:
1. Law . the statement or declaration of a witness under oath or affirmation, usually in court.
2. evidence in support of a fact or statement; proof.
3. open declaration or profession, as of faith.

This is my testimony.. well at least one of my testimonies.  I have several. As a matter of fact, I believe that life should be a daily testimony.  Sometimes, I'm sorry to say, it's no the best testimony, but every day is a statement of who I am.  This is just one of the most recent ones.

So here goes...

The Test

In order to appreciate the testimony, you have to hear a little bit of the background.  I don't want to go too far into it, but here are the main points.  About three and a half years ago my husband left me with four children.  I didn't have enough money to cover all of the bills and had too much pride/embarrassment to ask anyone for help.  So very quickly things started piling up and before long I was juggling electric and car payments to buy groceries and praying that checks didn't bounce and lights were on when we got home.  The mortgage company started foreclosure proceedings on my house, and I can't lie, I was scared.

Family

My Dad called to talk to me, like he normally did, but must have known that something was wrong, because he drove from Indiana and was at my house in Oklahoma the next day.  With his help and the help of other family members, I was able to sell my house and move closer to home. 

The Testimony

That with a few more surprises put my finances in shambles.  I wanted to stay positive, but I can't lie I never thought that I would be able to find my way out.  BUT I prayed and continued to try and stay positive.  I surrounded myself with positive people.  I even read some books and did some research about how to build my credit back up.  That was all great, but I hadn't worked up enough courage to try anything different with anything concerning money. I had savings, but I was scared to touch anything or spend anything for fear that I would be back to the point of worrying about feeding my children and keeping the lights on. 

The Epiphany

Pastor Watts has been preaching about "Running Your Race".  I have blogged about it a couple of times.  He made the comment that we should have an "Attitude of Expectance".  At first I was like..  I can't do that.  I work hard and I don't expect anything from anyone!  BUT after I stopped and listened to what he meant, and took a minute to let it sink in, I agreed with him.  (If you want to know a little more about his sermon, you can just read my previous blogs.)  So I adjusted my attitude a little and went to God with my desires as far as my finances.  In less than 2 days 2 major things happened.  1) I got word that my daughter's college tuition would be paid in full!  2) I was approved for a  loan on a house that is now officially under contract to me!  I am weeks away from becoming a home owner! :) 

Two major  burdens were lifted!  Not because I am perfect. Not because I always make the right choices.  Not because I always try to do the right thing..  but because God is perfect!  I am loved by the highest Power, and good times or bad He is with me! 

The Outcome

2011 is going to be the best year so far!  Philipians 4:13 has a whole new meaning to me!  I used to look at that verse and interpret it like this..  "I can get through all of the bad times through Him who give me strength."
NOW I see it just how it is written.. "I can do ALL THINGS through Him who gives me strength!"

Well, there you go- my testimony for today, January 31, 2011.  Make the most out of it, because it's the only on you will ever gt!

I gotta admit, I was jealous..

I know jealousy is an ugly thing!  BUT I have to admit today I got a little jealous. 

Here's what happened...

I was taking my son to his Martial Arts class and while we were in the parking lot I saw a man (about my age) go around his truck and open the door for his wife. 

Let me go on and admit a few things about me: 

1) I am super independent!  I like to get stuff done on my own with out having to depend on anyone.  Yeah I get that this is not necessarily a good thing, but I never said that I was just admitting all of my good qualities.
2) I am a bit of a "Tomboy".  I like to do stuff like play sports, watch sports, look at old cars, play video games, fish.. shoot one of my longest running dreams has been to watch a game at Wrigley! 
3) This is the hardest one for me to admit.. I am a closet romantic.

OK now it's out!  I like to be treated like a lady.  I like doors to be opened for me.  I like to be given flowers, presents, and treated to dinner.  I secretly dream that someone will actually get down on one knee and well.. you know the rest.   The fact that  I am not your typical girl doesn't mean I don't want to be treated like one every now and then.  I guess this ended up like more of a rant than anything else..  sorry about that.  This is just one of those things I had to work out I guess.

YES I was jealous.. I am over it now, but I liked seeing that there were still guys out there that are not afraid to treat women with respect.  If you have someone in your life that treats you like this..  feel free to share!  Every now and then I need to be reminded that  men like that really do exist. Question of the day..   "Why are there NO ..sweep you off your feet and love you like no other people.. out there anymore?"  Just curious.

Anyway.. Enjoy the rest of today January 28, 2011. It's the only one you will ever get!  - Good night and God Bless!

Uh oh.. I'm on a roll!!

When I said writing was how I work things out..  I was not lying! I work out the good, the bad, and sometimes the ugly.  Got a rainbow of things on my mind today..

My baby daughter is sick :(  She was a trooper and went ahead and danced at half-time at the high school basketball game Tuesday night, but when she was finished she went home and crashed.  She is doing much better today..  so looks like back to school tomorrow. 

I have this amazing person in my life who is always telling me if I do the right thing good things will happen for me.  Now I have to admit sometimes when he reminds about the "right thing" I get a little defensive.  I don't have a mean bone in my body, but doing the right thing is NOT always easy!  Fact is though.. he's absolutely right!  

I am so blessed and the blessings just keep coming! 

What do I wanna be when I grow up?

Yeah I know I am a teacher who loves her job...  So what's with the question right?  Well the fact is, I do enjoy teaching, but sometimes I wonder what else is out there.  I go back to where I thought I would be when I was young and look at where I am now..  and I know this is going to sound CrAzy, but there are some differences.  ;) 

Don't get me wrong I have done quite a few of the things I set out to do when I was younger...  College, check! Kids, check! Nice house, check!  Car, check. (Well sort of, it was a little nicer in my dreams, but the Vue will do for now.)   A career that has to do with sports....  check.  (Another sort of, I got to coach HS fastpitch and track.)    See not too bad..  BUT there were a few things that didn't happen quite like I imagined.

I wanted to live further south, close to the water, and Prince Charming well..  no comment on that one.  I guess where I am going with this is..  What's next?  What do I want to do next?  Now before you go jumping to conclusions, this doesn't automatically mean I am looking for a new career, place to stay, or a new man..  just means I have a tendency to think ahead.  --  Track practice is over.. I may write more on this one later.

Enjoy today January 25, 2011!  It's the only one you will ever get!

Continued from yesterday...

2011 will be the BEST YEAR of my LIFE!!! 

When Pastor Watts made that statement  I was a little bit taken back.  I thought, best?  What about the years when my children were born?  What about the year I got my first teaching job?  Or even last year when I move to Broken Arrow?  Surely that had to rank up there with all of the newness of starting over and excitement of trying something different.  So I thought about it for a while and I decided that it should be said....  2011 will be the best year of my life- so far!!  :)  Why shouldn't each year get better and better?  God didn't intend for us to sit stagnant just because we have experienced something wonderful.  He wants us to continue to grow and do better and better.  AND when we go through those inevitable rough spots, that's when the "fake it till you feel it" comes in.  When your heart is heavy, make yourself smile, do something to help someone else, hold on to those who are close to you, and give hugs, lots and lots of hugs!!  Eventually the heavy feeling will go away and those smiles will be very real!

He also talked about having a "Spirit of Expectantcy".  I was brought up in a family where hard work rules. You work hard and you are eventually rewarded.  I was taught not to depend on others and to make sure that in any relationship I had something to bring to the table.  Sooo  "expectancy" is a hard concept for me to grasp.  However, if you look at it like a child waiting to open presents on his birthday, it kind of takes on a whole new meaning.  --  Still it's hard for me to learn to expect things to be given to me.  Pastor Watts said that we should let God know what we want and pray for guidence so that what we want aligns with what God wants for us.  I am still working all of this out in my head..  Wait, don't wait.  Do, don't do.  Expect, don't expect.  How are you supposed to know which path to choose?  I think I need a road map.

Today is Monday, January 24, 2011.  Make the most of it!  It's the only one you will ever get!
   

The Spirit of Expectance...

Church was as usual- AWESOME today! Pastor Watts has a gift! He has an insight that allows him to know the needs of the people he is preaching to. Right now is he preaching about how to “Run your race.” He keeps talking about 2011 being the best year of your life. Now I consider my self a fairly positive person. Yeah I have my flaws, but I’m not really a “Negative Nelly”. My thought “fake it till you feel it.” Hear me out on this…

I am not telling you not to be who you are. Everyone should be real with their feelings and emotions. What I am saying is in some instances where you are not feelin it, if you smile and keep telling yourself that it will happen, I believe that most times, it happens!

OK- I have some house cleaning to do so this one will have to be continued later today… But I wanted your thoughts on the following statement: We should have a “spirit of expectance” when it comes to God. Don’t think “handouts” here, think like a child waiting for Christmas. Think waiting for your first child to be born, gifts, excitement, and all of the emotion and good things that go along with something you’ve been believing in coming to pass.

Enjoy today Sunday, January 23, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get! I will be back when the dishes and laundry are all done.

-Rebekah

Go to the mattresses…

If you are familiar with the movie The Godfather , you have probably heard the phrase “go to the mattresses”. It simply means to prepare for battle. In times of war, Italian families would vacate their homes and rent apartments in safer areas. In order to protect themselves they would hire soldiers to sleep on mattresses on the floor.

What battles are you preparing for?

We are all fighting some type of battle. Some people struggle with weight, others with depression, and others loneliness.. Some people struggle with all three and then some. The list is endless. It does seem hopeless, but I can’t help but believe that no matter what the struggle there is a bigger picture, a way to the surface for a drowning soul.

I went to the store tonight. Didn’t really have anything to get; just needed to get out of the house. It’s a lonely night and with out my 3 kids, this house seems very empty. When I was checking out, a beautiful woman probably in her 50’s began talking to me while she was ringing up and bagging my groceries. Most of what was said was just normal chit chat.. It wasn’t until I picked up the last bag that she said something that caught my attention. She said, “You have to know that there’s a greater picture. You just have to wait it out child. You just have to wait it out.” Now I so wanted to ask her what it was she was referring to, but she had already begun scanning the people’s things that were in line behind me. What did she mean? I didn’t say anything to her that would lead her to make that statement. I am still wondering, I can’t lie.

It definitely got me thinking. One of the biggest battles I fight is with patience. I see what I want and I go after it, whether I am ready for what ever it is or not. Deep down I know that God is in control, I know that He will never give me more than I can handle. Shoot, that is easy to deal with. BUT I also know that God will never give me anything that I am not ready to have. THAT’s the hard part! I know exactly what I want! I can see it in front of me just out of my reach, and I can’t have it. That’s my battle, accepting that I have to wait. Well.. I hear that the first step to recovery it admitting you have a problem. Now here’s the question: How do I prepare and fight  his battle?

Instead of placing a horse head in my bed, God placed a beautifully, knowledgeable, 50- something woman in front of me. Believe me I am grateful! I don’t think I could have dealt with waking up to a horse head. One day things will all fall into place- I BELIEVE that with all my heart! Just ready for “waiting for great things” not to be such a battle.  I am just so so ready! UGH!

January 22, 2011 is almost over.. Go on and enjoy it, because it’s the only one you will ever get! Good night and sleep well so that you will wake up ready to "go to the mattresses!"

Eating healthy stinks…

So my friend Kortney talked me into (ok she practically forced me into ;) going on a diet with her. Not that I don’t need to eat better, just that the whole idea of a “diet” makes me nauseous.

We are doing the “Flat Belly Diet”. It’s not really all that bad. I am learning a ton of stuff, and even dare I say it…. COOKING! Not just cooking, but cooking well! Today I have had Oatmeal with bananas and pecans, a muffin (yes homemade), a cheesy penne pasta spinach salad with pesto sauce, and red grapes. The day is only half-way over!

What I don’t like about it, it’s a diet. Ugh! I hate that word! What I like about it, I never get hungry! I love that! If I do it right and eat my “MUFUs” I stay full, and no lie, I feel better; not so tired and so on. What I "didn’t" like about it.. I had to CHANGE. YUCK! (Notice I said “didn’t”—I am S-L-O-W-L-Y learning to like this part of it.)

I am not big on change! Don’t get me wrong I like to try new things, but I usually try them and then go right back to my old habits. I like my comfort zone!

So questions for today: How do I make those changes? How do I get out of my comfort zone? Well.. here is what happened to me. God placed people who LOVE and CARE for me in my life. When I moved to Broken Arrow, I was dead set on keeping with some of my old ways and who should come along but Mrs. Kortney. Not only did she force me to come out of my shell a little bit and go on a dreaded diet with her, but she also reminds me daily that she’s not going anywhere. Thankfully I am stuck with her  no matter how hard I try to mess things up! There are a few other people like that in my life now and just between you and me, I really kinda like having them around.

Opening up is hard as heck for me.. well except when it comes to writing. So there ya go, that’s me for today 01/20/2011. Enjoy your day because it’s the only one you will ever get!

I get it! Oh wait, no I don't.

Hopefully I am not the only one who is constantly asking the following question… Ok God, what exactly are you trying to tell me? Sometimes I pray and ask for answers and God answers right away in a way that there is absolutely NO chance I could miss it! The minute I read the verse in the Bible, or the minute my friend makes that encouraging comment; I know right away that is the answer straight from God.

Other times I don’t get an answer at all. Well, at least not the answer I asked for and certainly not as quickly as I would have liked. Of course I don’t figure out that I wasn’t supposed to know the answer until later on when I am reminded that God really does know what he’s doing. He knows me way better than I could ever know myself. He knows what answers I am ready for and what answers need to wait.

What I am struggling with is the times when I feel like God is trying to tell me something and I am just not pickin’ up on what He’s puttin’ down. I have so many things in my head and I pray and ask for guidance, but sometimes I am just not sure what path to follow. Now deep down inside, I know that the struggle is really with what I want versus what God wants me to do.

Here’s the question: How do I truly know the difference?

Today is January 19, 2011! Enjoy it to the fullest, because it’s the only one you will ever get!