Tuesday, June 28, 2011
I woke up this morning with a new understanding about some things.
First things first- no longer will I allow myself to make someone a priority who doesn't do the same for me! I know this one seems obvious, but it's harder that you think. You can't make people change! Only they can initiate change. I am very guilty of hanging on to something based off of what could be in the future while sitting in a bad situation in the present. I get involved with someone (it doesn't have to be a boyfriend type relationship) and things are rocky from the start, but I listen to promises of love and understanding with absolutely no sign of those things right now and try to hang on until things get better. Of course a year and a half later I end up sitting in a worse situation than I started with.
I was told not long ago that I choose those types of bad relationships to protect myself because I already know that they are going to end. I struggled with that for a while, but I believe now that that may very well be true. It's kind of a defense mechanism for me. It's not going to last anyway, so why bother getting too upset about it? The worst thing about that is that you end up settling for less than what you are worth. You put up with things you know you don't deserve and in the end you have nothing to show for your pain.
My friend told me that I should visualize myself meeting genuine people and finding genuine relationships. So I'm trying it! AND I have to admit, I like it!
What I want- Someone who cares about me as much as I care about them, and shows it! Someone who respects me and is there when I need them! Someone who makes me a priority in their life and doesn't make a habit if breaking promises. Someone who refuses to talk down to me like I lack intelligence. Someone who makes an effort to see me as much as possible. Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in a room full of people! Someone who laughs with me, hurts when I am hurt, loves me with all of their heart! .
Ok- there you have it... That's what I want! That what I'm visualizing! That's what's x-ing people off of my list! I see myself successful!
How do you know if someone genuinely loves you? Know what you want in a relationship. Set up the parameters and make clear what you like and what you don't like. If that person does something that you don't like tell them. If they continue to hurt you- let them go. If the love was genuine, they will initiate their own change because they never want to see you hurt again!
That's all I have for now! I am going to work out and help me feel good about me.
Don't settle today 6/28/2011 or any other day!
*Wish me Love!*
I was told not long ago that I choose those types of bad relationships to protect myself because I already know that they are going to end. I struggled with that for a while, but I believe now that that may very well be true. It's kind of a defense mechanism for me. It's not going to last anyway, so why bother getting too upset about it? The worst thing about that is that you end up settling for less than what you are worth. You put up with things you know you don't deserve and in the end you have nothing to show for your pain.
My friend told me that I should visualize myself meeting genuine people and finding genuine relationships. So I'm trying it! AND I have to admit, I like it!
What I want- Someone who cares about me as much as I care about them, and shows it! Someone who respects me and is there when I need them! Someone who makes me a priority in their life and doesn't make a habit if breaking promises. Someone who refuses to talk down to me like I lack intelligence. Someone who makes an effort to see me as much as possible. Someone who makes me feel like I am the only person in a room full of people! Someone who laughs with me, hurts when I am hurt, loves me with all of their heart! .
Ok- there you have it... That's what I want! That what I'm visualizing! That's what's x-ing people off of my list! I see myself successful!
How do you know if someone genuinely loves you? Know what you want in a relationship. Set up the parameters and make clear what you like and what you don't like. If that person does something that you don't like tell them. If they continue to hurt you- let them go. If the love was genuine, they will initiate their own change because they never want to see you hurt again!
That's all I have for now! I am going to work out and help me feel good about me.
Don't settle today 6/28/2011 or any other day!
*Wish me Love!*
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Searching for answers....
Funny thing is my preacher talked about deleting people out of your phone just this morning. My friend Shellee told me not long ago that "he may not mean you any harm, but he doesn't mean you any good either." That's what my preacher was referring to this morning. He said that there are people in your life that don't need to be there. They may not be purposely trying to harm you, but their mess carries over into your life and does you no good. I don't like to completely x people off. I don't believe in it. I believe in showing kindness no matter what. I know who means me no good, but am I supposed to completely x them off?
Right now I am searching.. I guess honestly I am always searching for answers. I know what my gift is in life... I am a teacher. BUT what I want be to know now is where do I go with it? I love my life!! I am blessed in so many ways.. but what's next? I know this is not my highest level! I was born to go higher! I am ready for a man that treats me like his queen and allows me to treat him like my king! Can I get that please?
OK OK OK I get it, this is a crazy post! I understand! BUT I must say, I enjoy being able to write what is in my head! What's funny is that after I put it all in writing, I usually answer my own questions EXCEPT for one. To tell you the truth, I don't know that I will ever be able to answer that one.
A few things I am certain of.. 1) God loves me! NO matter what I am blessed by Him daily! 2) I have the most amazing kids on the planet! They make my world go around. 3) I don't have all the answers and sometimes I feel like a broken record asking the same questions. 4) I am worth the work it takes to find the right answers!
June 26, 2011 is a Blessing! Enjoy it; it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me Love*
Right now I am searching.. I guess honestly I am always searching for answers. I know what my gift is in life... I am a teacher. BUT what I want be to know now is where do I go with it? I love my life!! I am blessed in so many ways.. but what's next? I know this is not my highest level! I was born to go higher! I am ready for a man that treats me like his queen and allows me to treat him like my king! Can I get that please?
OK OK OK I get it, this is a crazy post! I understand! BUT I must say, I enjoy being able to write what is in my head! What's funny is that after I put it all in writing, I usually answer my own questions EXCEPT for one. To tell you the truth, I don't know that I will ever be able to answer that one.
A few things I am certain of.. 1) God loves me! NO matter what I am blessed by Him daily! 2) I have the most amazing kids on the planet! They make my world go around. 3) I don't have all the answers and sometimes I feel like a broken record asking the same questions. 4) I am worth the work it takes to find the right answers!
June 26, 2011 is a Blessing! Enjoy it; it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me Love*
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Advice..
What my Dad has taught me (some of which to my downfall I have chosen not to pay enough attention to.)
Love is more powerful and more important than anything! The words I LOVE YOU are not something you take lightly. Use them carefully and when you do chose to use them, mean them with your whole being. Let every action toward that person prove that love over and over again!
Kindness may be mistaken for weakness, but just because there are foolish people out there who will take advantage of you, never stop being kind! Eventually someone genuine will come along who appreciates and loves your kind heart and would die trying to defend it! AND absolutely never dream of breaking it.
No one is perfect- we all make mistakes! Admit your mistakes, apologize, and work to make it right.. It's the work to make it right part that is most important on this one!
Actions speak volumes! For some people words are just that, words. But for "real" people a man is only as good as his word. If you say you are going to do something, do it! It's as simple as that! And if life gets in the way and plans fall through, apologize and work to make things right!
Put your Family first! Yeah they may get on your nerves at times, but never let them think you wouldn't be there if they needed you!
Time is a valuable gift! When you give yours to someone else, you show them that they are valuable to you! When others give their time to you, appreciate the value in their gift!
Everyday is not going to be a good day. So cherish every moment of happiness but appreciate the trials.. They serve a great purpose too. They remind you how amazing the good days are!
I am beautiful- how do I know? Because my dad never hesitated to tell me! I am strong- yes he reminded me of that too! I am worth someone's time and effort- more wise words from dad! AND last but not least... Someone is proud of me!! Yes he told me that just last week!
I want to be a parent to my kids like my dad was to me! And one day I hope to share my life with someone that shares those values too!
Enjoy today June 21, 2011! I know I am! :)
*Wish me Love*
Love is more powerful and more important than anything! The words I LOVE YOU are not something you take lightly. Use them carefully and when you do chose to use them, mean them with your whole being. Let every action toward that person prove that love over and over again!
Kindness may be mistaken for weakness, but just because there are foolish people out there who will take advantage of you, never stop being kind! Eventually someone genuine will come along who appreciates and loves your kind heart and would die trying to defend it! AND absolutely never dream of breaking it.
No one is perfect- we all make mistakes! Admit your mistakes, apologize, and work to make it right.. It's the work to make it right part that is most important on this one!
Actions speak volumes! For some people words are just that, words. But for "real" people a man is only as good as his word. If you say you are going to do something, do it! It's as simple as that! And if life gets in the way and plans fall through, apologize and work to make things right!
Put your Family first! Yeah they may get on your nerves at times, but never let them think you wouldn't be there if they needed you!
Time is a valuable gift! When you give yours to someone else, you show them that they are valuable to you! When others give their time to you, appreciate the value in their gift!
Everyday is not going to be a good day. So cherish every moment of happiness but appreciate the trials.. They serve a great purpose too. They remind you how amazing the good days are!
I am beautiful- how do I know? Because my dad never hesitated to tell me! I am strong- yes he reminded me of that too! I am worth someone's time and effort- more wise words from dad! AND last but not least... Someone is proud of me!! Yes he told me that just last week!
I want to be a parent to my kids like my dad was to me! And one day I hope to share my life with someone that shares those values too!
Enjoy today June 21, 2011! I know I am! :)
*Wish me Love*
Monday, June 13, 2011
Waited a long time for this...
I am just going to go ahead and come out with this.... I AM GOING TO CHICAGO TO WATCH A CUBS GAME AT WRIGLEY!!! Whew- I have waited a long time to be able to say that! I am taking one of the 3 people who make my world turn- My beautiful 16 year old daughter Cydney Lynn! I have never been so excited! It's amazing what happens in your life if you just take a deep breath and jump sometimes!
I have spent many years worrying about other people- wishing that people would keep their promises to me and do the things that they say they will do, but I am finding out that it just doesn't work that way. People say what they think you want to hear and then worry about their own agendas. I have loved the Cubs since I was a little kid. Someone made a promise to take me to a game years ago, but life (his life) got in the way and I never got to go. So I am changing up how I do things... if there is something I want to do, I am going to do it! My son and I are already making plans to go to the Super Bowl for his 16th birthday! I have a few years to save up ;) AND my baby girl... she'll get to pick where she wants to go too!
I have always wanted to see a boardwalk-- I am taking a trip South to see one this summer! NO more waiting on things just to find out that most people don't keep their word.. if I want it, I am going to find a way to make it happen!
If you are in Chicago this week.. just look for me all decked out in my Cubs gear walking right beside one of the most beautiful girls in the world wearing her Yankees gear (booo)! Tired of waiting for Superman!! Why should I? Especially when I feel like SUPERWOMAN! Determined to make my dreams come true!
Enjoy today June 13, 2011- it's the only one you will ever get!
*Wish me love!*
Sunday, June 12, 2011
6/11/11 Kind of Sucked! LOL
Let me just go ahead and apologize for the title.. I couldn't think of a better word.
Let me explain. I have been having dreams about 6/11/11 for months. My dream is the same and something really amazing happens to me.. but just the normal amazing things happened to me on 6/11/11. I woke up! Enjoyed my beautiful children! Ate, danced, hugged, you know all of the normal stuff happened, but not that unusually amazing thing that I was looking for.
Am I disappointed? Yeah I can't lie. I think every girl dreams of a fairy tale, but will I survive? Of course, I always have.
As far as "D" (decision) Day.. I made up my mind. First of all, I won Ms. Charlotte's challenge! I am not too sure that I gained a new habit or broke an old one, but I said my "mantra" everyday for 21 days! Boo Yaaa! I told you I would do it!
Shelle's challenge though.. um no comment. I Just have what I want in my head, and I don't know what it will take to get it out of there. I act with my heart. AND for some strange reason my heart is leading me one way that seems to cause me a ton of pain, but I am just not ready to give up yet. I know I am crazy. AND I may very well be wrong, but I want to see for myself.
My dad came to pick up my kids today and he was talking to me about a friend of mine. He made the comment that my friend was a good person and that it was good to be driven, but that sometimes we get so focused on being driven that we forget why we are driving in the first place. What happens when you get to your destination but forget why you went? You tend to leave folks behind. I guess I feel like I am being left behind.
Some dreams do come true... this one however didn't. Yeah it does suck because it was a really great dream! Maybe my trip to the Boardwalk will never happen.. maybe the lights will never be so bright at night.. and maybe my life will not change because of a short conversation, BUT I am going to continue to dream! I continue to be more blessed than I could have ever asked! I am still happy and loved! AND I am still thankful for all that God has done for me!
Enjoy today 6/12/11 (the day after) it's the only one you will ever get! *Wish me LOVE! because I certainly wish it for you!*
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Uh oh..
Decision day is next weekend... AND I don't know what to do. :( I can't stand not having all of the answers. Crazy when your head and your heart are in conflict! I need some major help on this one. I have been praying and praying and searching for answers, and even though I feel like I know what to do in my head, I can't seem to get my heart to agree.
Bout to give up and just let things land where ever they fall. Sometimes even Super Woman needs a break! Thinking I'm gonna take a break before I break. Yeah I know this post is out there and you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but I just needed to write. Why do somethings come so easy, but other things have to be so dang hard!
"Unsettled" that's how I feel right now and I have to say, I don't like it one bit! :(
I am still very much appreciating the day June (now 5th because I can't sleep) 2011, because I know it's the only one I will ever get!
Good night ya'll! Wish me love! <3
Bout to give up and just let things land where ever they fall. Sometimes even Super Woman needs a break! Thinking I'm gonna take a break before I break. Yeah I know this post is out there and you probably have no idea what I am talking about, but I just needed to write. Why do somethings come so easy, but other things have to be so dang hard!
"Unsettled" that's how I feel right now and I have to say, I don't like it one bit! :(
I am still very much appreciating the day June (now 5th because I can't sleep) 2011, because I know it's the only one I will ever get!
Good night ya'll! Wish me love! <3
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