Am I the only one?

It’s Monday.. It’s not a bad day-- It’s just a Monday. Ever wonder if you were meant for more? Please tell me that I am not the only one. I have been thinking a lot lately about what it is I want in life. I am pretty sure it’s probably close to what everyone else wants in life… Family, A job I enjoy, home, stability, happiness, love.. And truth is I have that.


Last Sunday the preacher spoke about the importance of marriage. My oldest daughter looked at me several times while we were in the service. It was obvious she had something on her mind. So I wasn’t surprised when she asked me if I was “OK” after church. I was fine of course, but she was worried that what the preacher said would make me feel bad.

Let me clarify.. she thought that I would feel bad not because she thinks I was wrong for being divorced, but because he talked so much about how people are born with a desire to be with someone. She doesn’t want me to be alone. I tried to explain to her that I am going to be fine no matter what. That no matter what my situation ends up being, I will never actually be alone. BUT she is 15 sooo…

Life is so contradictory! We crave companionship, but are supposed to be patient. We are supposed to be patient, but play an active role in achieving our goals. We are allowed to love, but forced to deal with free will. Am I the only one who just doesn’t get it?

Be content today, February 28, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!

Balance…

Something was just brought to my attention. It’s one of those things that I have had an opinion about for a very long time, but all it too was one simple conversation to alter my way of thinking. Crazy huh?

I have always believed that balance in life meant that you had to have good things and bad things in your life. Let me try and explain. If your family was in good health, your finances are going well, and you enjoyed your profession, your personal life would not be good. I feel like I am as clear as mud on this one. Basically I have pretty much always felt that no one could really have it all.

My family amazes me on a daily basis. I have the most fabulous kids on the planet! I have great friends. I have a job I enjoy. AND I am buying a new house! All wonderful things… I am content in those areas of my life. Because I am so happy with those things, I have a tendency to neglect my personal life. I settle for what ever is given to me because I have always felt that if I prayed for and hoped for someone to come in my life and be there for me that I would seem selfish and un appreciative of the Blessings that are already present. I have always felt guilty for wanting more.

No one has ever questioned my way of thinking. This is partly because I am not all that open to talking about things like that, and partly because me thinking that way is beneficial to others in a lot of ways. If I believe that it’s selfish to want to be treated well then people who choose to take advantage of that will. Truth is people have been doing just that for a very long time. I think it’s about time for a change.

Sometimes change is a bad thing. This time change is a good thing!

That’s all I have on this one. I may write more later, but for now enjoy today February 24, 2011! I am.

I am going to do this... do you want to join me?

Write down whatever has been on your mental running list of why you’ve mistakenly thought you’re disqualified from God’s unconditional love.  Then pray, thanking Jesus for dying for you and nailing it on the cross once and for all.  Then tear up or burn the list. 

The above suggestion was in a devotion that I read and then re-read.  Funny how that happens.  We read something one time and then see it again a few days later and it takes on a whole new meaning.  Anyway, I am going to do this.  I am giong to put a lot of time and effort into making a sincere list and then I am going to make an even stronger effort to LET IT GO!

Peace and Love for you today!  :)  May write more later...  we shall see.

Never doubt the power of FAITH…

It's been an interesting weekend. Our dog, Kiwi, got hit by a car. She was banged up pretty bad and had to be taken to the vet. What made it worse was that my kids saw her get hit. She had to have her leg sewn up and she has fractures in her hip. We prayed a lot!

Kiwi had to stay at the vet Sunday night and both of my daughters came in and told me that they dreamed that Kiwi came home with a lime green bandage on her leg… they had faith that she would be ok.

When things that don’t seem to be so positive in our lives happen, God allows other things to come along to help us keep our positive attitude and maybe even change our perspective. In my house, we are firm believers in “everything happens for a reason”. God is not a mean or vengeful God. He wants us to live in peace.

My daughters' faith that God would heal Kiwi gave them the peace they needed to deal with their sadness. It’s funny how God always knows just when to send comfort your way. I am thankful for my peace and for the little blessings that God sends me just exactly when I need them.  Just this weekend I recieved encouragement from an old friend right when I needed it. :)

Kiwi came home from the vet yesterday with a lime green bandage on her leg! FAITH it’s some powerful stuff! Be encouraged today, February, 22, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.  !!Peace and Happiness!!

Quick updates on my goals…

Goal 1- Relationships: In some areas I am doing GREAT! I have actually allowed some people to get to know me better. I have talked to a couple of people that I don’t know. I only had one major “fail” in this area, but all-in-all, I still have a TON of work to do! UGH! Week 1 goal 1 -> Fail

Goal 2- Finances: Doing fine in this area. I haven’t over spent. Put money in savings. AND caught a HUGE SALE with Kortney for some work clothes.. (that are SUPER CUTE!! Can’t wait to wear them some where besides work!!) Week 1 goal 2 -> SAME

Goal 3- Physical: Yeah I am actually kicking butt and takin’ names on this one! Been watching what I eat all week.. drinking tons of water.. eating my mufas.. and working out everyday! OK there was Monday—when I burned dinner and had to eat left over pizza, but I only ate 2 pieces and I did work out a little extra that night to make up for it.. so let’s label week one for goal 3 SUCCESS!!!

I am still encouraged! Down days are normal.. I am putting it in my head right now though that I will not allow myself the same mistakes no matter what the situation. I got this!! ;)

I will not be shaken. (Psalm 16:8)
Enjoy today—February 17, 2011. It’s the only one you will ever get!

I know it’s not right for me but…..

This is a hard one for me.

First, let me just say that I am BLESSED beyond anything I will ever deserve! I have the 3 most amazing children on the planet, and there are so so many other wonderful things that God has allowed me to experience in my life. I really have no right to complain, and I try really hard not to.

The past couple of days have seriously been some of the most stressful days I have ever experienced. I already have issues with Valentine’s Day… and no I don’t care to write about that one— hurts way too much to bring it up. AND no it’s not that I am a bitter single woman, you will just have to trust me on this one. It’s much deeper than that.

OK now on top of that I have this really amazing job… 99% of the time. BUT that 1% well that’s the reason that the average turn over for my position is one year or less. Most of the time when things go crazy with my job, I am able to deal with it, go home, and laugh a little, but the past couple of days not so much. My job puts huge mental demands on me. Don’t worry, I can handle it; it’s just harder at times.

Now my job does affect me in one major way… when it gets really stressful, I sometimes let that determine how I react to situations outside of work. I worry about things that I normally wouldn’t worry about. I stress about small things. I separate myself from people. (Except for my kids) – These are the times when the people who truly love me are separated from the people who don’t. AND the past couple of days are no exception.. You learn something new every day. I learned (again) that just because someone says, “I love you” doesn’t mean that it’s true, and just because someone says that they will always be there doesn’t mean that they will never leave.

I am on the heartbroken side today. It will pass.. if there is one thing I know for a fact it is that this will pass. I’ve been here done this, but now what. What will I take from it? If someone doesn’t accept me with all of my flaws then they didn’t really love me. I am better off. Right? That’s what I hear and it’s probably true, so why then do I just want everything to be “fixed”?  I broke my "one tear rule".  :.(

Appreciate today, Fabruary 16, 2011, it’s the only one you will ever get.

Today could have gone way way better....

Ever have one of those days that seem to start out pretty good, but as time passes, you realize that going to bed a few hours early may be the only thing that saves you from shedding some tears?  Yeah, it's no secret, I am not a huge fan of Valentine's Day,  I don't want to go into, why... just not a big fan.  BUT that't not why this day could have been better.. well not the only reason.  Burning dinnner, my entire house (including my clothes) smelling like smoke, kids fighting, I could go on for a while on this one.. but I won't. 

Just a down day...  guess everyone has them. I am no exception to the rule.  So today was mine.  I didn't use my one tear rule--  I am saving that for later.  Today wasn't even close to bad enough to cry.  Just frustrating that's all. 

Today could have gone way better, but it could have gone way worse too!!  Dwellng on my BLESSINGS right now!   Thank God for the people who never forget to remember me!  I love them!!!