I met someone new today...

I met someone new today.

She is a sweet person who would do just about anything for anyone, but she's been lost for a while.  Her heart's been hurting and she's been letting the world around her tell her who she has been and who she will be.  She'd made a habit of apologizing for who she was and had blamed herself for every bad circumstance that had come her way.  She had been bullied and beat down and made to think that she wasn't worthy of being treated like a Princess.  She had spent years closing doors and shutting people out.  Holding people at arms length not allowing them to know who she really is had become her shelter.  She had made an art of finding ways to make sure a relationship ended right before she had the chance to know what real love is, because deep down she felt there was no such thing.  Her guard was always up.  Her walls had been meticulously built to ensure that there were windows only a select few could make it through.  She always had a smile on her face, but her heart remained broken and fragile. 

She didn't see that she did deserve to be treated like a Princess if for no other reason than that she was a child of The King!  Her worth was more than all the gold in the world and she couldn't accept that.  When love would come her way, she would run.  When she would stumble, she never looked around for help because she always felt that she had to find her way back on her own.   Even though God had always been there to protect her and love her, she never allowed herself to feel his loving arms around her.  She continued to live every day feeling as if she had to pay for sins from long ago.   She tried to do the right thing and live up to the expectations of the world, but she just never could reach that level.

One day-  she sat alone, still and quiet, and allowed God to speak to her.  He told her to stop beating herself up for her past mistakes and let it all go.  He reminded her that there is a season for everything and now is the time to let go of her season of pain and sadness.  That season has made her stronger, but now it was time to drop that weight so that she could welcome the new things He has waiting for her!  He told her that she would still have bumps in the road, but assured her that she was strong enough because He would always be right there with her! 

I have made my mistakes.  I am not my mistakes.  I am ready to let them go and move forward!  I am just sad that hanging on to my past may have caused me to lose someone who belongs in my future. 

"Take me to that place Lord., to that secret place where I can be with you and you can make me like you.  Wrap me in your arms!" 

Help me find where I belong....

I met someone new today...  her name is Rebekah Lynn and she's ready to be done with her past and focus on her future!

Love today and have Faith that God will take care of your tomorrows--

Wrap Me in Your Arms Lord

UPDATE:

Well, things could be better for sure. I have been working at it, but not seeing the success I would like to see. I am not going to give up.. just adapt. I’m working harder to reach my goal. I got this! BUT ummm.. if you wanna throw in a little prayer for me feel free! I am looking for change in so many ways- So ready to see some! Still thankful for my blessing! Still LOVE the LIFE GOD has BLESSED me with! Just working toward more!

LOVE THIS and thought that I would share!!!

“You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.” Psalm 18:35 (NIV, 1984)

Enjoy today May 4, 2011; it’s the only one you will ever get!

Deep breath, ok here I go!

I have been doing the P90x stuff.  While I have not mastered it just yet, I can get through them.  So I kind of have my work out plan going.  I have spent the past week trying to limit the food I take in.  Yeah we still had pizza night, but I only ate 1 piece.  (THAT WAS HARD!)  NO fried food!  More veggies! Still get my fruit, YAY! AND Tons and Tons of water!  Let's see where I can get in 4 weeks.  

Oh yeah..  2 more things I am going to do:  

1) Facebook on the weekends only - so if I am not responding to you don't get offended. Shoot be old fashioned and text me or call me instead!

2) My phone is going in the living room to charge after 11:00PM.  The main reason for this is that I have developed an unhealthy addiction to my phone.  Always jumping up to get it when it goes off.  Even if it goes off in the middle of the night.  If it is in the other room, I know my lazy butt is not going to get up and go get it.   

Now if later today I am feeling super brave I may post a "start" pic so that you can see if I am getting anywhere with this.  Tips, ideas, suggestions, praise, or constructive criticism

Deep breath, ok here I go!

How do you know when it’s time to let go?

How do you know when it’s time to let go?

Just curious… I am a bit of a fighter by nature. Any one who knows my history knows that letting go is an obvious weakness of mine. I was raised never to give up on the people you love. What happens though when they give up on you? Hmmmm… food for thought.   Advice? Words of wisdom? 

Just what’s on my mind today, April 22, 2011

Today is a good day!

Hey- Hey! I am feeling really good today! Crazy how that works, huh? One day you feel like you don’t want to get out of bed and the next you are on top of the world. What made me feel so good today..? Well nothing out of the ordinary. I woke up after tossing and turning and staring at the ceiling fan most of the night. I got dressed and ready for work. Got my kids up and ready to go. Noticed that I didn’t finish the laundry and the kitchen cabinets could have been wiped off better.

I got to school just pretty much like normal and had to immediately deal with a run away and another potentially “bad” situation. More paper work, more parent / police contact; not really the makings of a good day.. unless I can just realize that that’s my life and even though on the outside looking in, my life doesn’t look fabulous to most, my life is pretty great to me! No I don’t have a significant other to wake up to everyday, but I don’t have a significant other to answer to every day either. AND I do have 3 amazing kiddos to wake up to! Some months we live pay check to pay check, but other months we have a little extra cash to play with. My life is not hard- sometimes it’s a little stressful, but absolutely nothing that outweighs my BLESSINGS!

Sure I want more- who doesn’t? God didn’t create us to sit on our tails and watch the world go by.. But I am also very content with all of the amazing things that God has BLESSED me with right now. One day I will have it all… Someone will see me for who I am and LOVE me just because I am me. Until then I am going to keep working toward my goals and loving the life that I live today April 15, 2011!

My son and I have been P90X-ing it lately! He’s a pretty real trainer! I think he’s got a future in it for sure! We will see where I end up at by summer.. I want to wear a swim suit!  Maybe even dare I say it... a bikini! ;0p

Guilt...

Why do we feel guilty? OK even better question...  Why do we feel guilt about things that we have nothing to feel guilty about?  I am all about taking ownership in things, but my problem is that I take ownership in everything.  I allow myself to feel bad about coulda, woulda, shoulda, stuff.  I will write more later..  just wanted to start this one so that I could come back to it. 

That's what's on my mind today 4/5/11 (My Dad's Birthday!!!!)