Confessions...

I'm in the back seat of my parent's car with an 11 & 8 year old laying on me while my 17 year old is enjoying a nice nap sprawled across the 3td seat all by herself. We are on the second leg of our 16 hour road trip. Since I have a little time, I decided to use the one hand I have free, on the arm that's not asleep from being used as a pillow, to write. I am going to go ahead and apologize ahead of time for any errors as I am not super gifted at typing with my thumb. I confess there is a part of me that would like to be on a beach somewhere, drinking out of coconut cups, staring at the man of my dreams... you know the one who loves and adores me and treats me so well that even the best romantic comedy couldn't compare. (Don't laugh he's out there.) Yeah sappy sounding I know. For those who know me well, me talking about flowers, beaches, and romance may come as a shock. I know that doesn't really seem like my norm, but deep down inside, there is a hopless romantic.. a woman who refuses to truly accept the fact that people just don't stay together anymore... that believes that relationships like my Grandad & GG had still exist... that true love and 50th anniversaries are still very real possibilities. Yes I was one of those little girls who had "the dream guy list". I made it in Jr High and I still remember at least most of what was on it. You ready to see it? Here goes: taller than me, dark skin, dark wavy hair, drives a truck, opens doors for me, funny, honest, likes dogs, rides horses, wears boots, & of course the most impotant- has a cute butt. Sounds to me like I was looking for a country boy... well, I'm still lookin. Lol Reality is 6 years ago, I got left. 3 kids and 12 years of struggle and I couldn't make it last. I think it's time for confession #2. I am thankful for those struggles! If I were given the chance to go back and have a "do over", I would not change a thing. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hard. It has been very hard. There have been times that I have locked myself in my room and turned on music just so my kids wouldn't hear me cry, but I know those hard times made me stronger. I am a better person than I was 6 years ago. I actually like myself! I am very proud of my life, my kids, and myself! So while a part of me wishes I was on the beach, all of the rest of me is so grateful to be in this back seat all bunched up with these amazing kids! There is absolutely no place I would rather be. AND just for the record, "Mr. Amazing" does exist... I'm raising him! He opens doors, he's funny, honest, genuine, and respectful! (I have 2 pretty amazing daughters too!) I am so blessed and I will never take those blessings for granted! I'm enjoying today, July 17, 2012.. I know it's the only one I will ever get! Wish me LOVE because I definitely wish it for you! <3 B